Gadget-daddy has already left for Singapore.
I was feeling like we were being separated for the first time, like when he went to finish his studies in UK... more than 15 years ago.
This morning, after breakfast, I lay in bed for a little while to moap.
Then got ready to go out. Took the 3 boys and mil out for a no-reason-trip.
But we ended up in McD for lunch and had quite a fun time (sent mil and Myron back first as baby was asleep and mil sleepy).
So it doesn't get easier through the years. Even with all his early jet-setting days, the many months in US and the last long term away, Jakarta... Seems like it's something I can't get use to.
Well, some things are a little better... or worse. The boys are here to keep me company, and keep me busy.
They sometimes forget and ask when Daddy will be home (as in what time today) so that he can help them with some Transformer toy.
Then Micah will ask why can't we just stay in Malaysia, as he will miss his grandparents.
Today, for their bedtime story, I told them an old story that Gadget-daddy had made up when I was expecting no.2.
...
...
...
Ok... shall spare you.
Will go hit the hay now.
Boys have school tomorrow.
Counting the days to this weekend.
Good night.
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Tuesday, 13 October 2009
Monday, 8 June 2009
3 Announcements:
Micah turned 5 on June 2nd.
We love you so much, precious boy. You were the most amazing surprise from God.
Yes, I believe every child is a gift from God.
June 2nd was also our
8th wedding anniversary.
We actually share the same dates, same year with 2 other couples whom we have been friends with many years.
One is my good friend from University Malaya, who was my course mate for 4 years, my roommate for 2.5 years, and then we did our MA together and she stayed with my family for 1.5 years. We screamed when we found out tha we were getting married on the same day. Unfortunately we were in different towns. She was 2 hours away from us, so we did not get to attend each others' wedding.
The other is a couple we have known for a good while, and they and I worked in the same office space for 3 years. Now the wife is one of my boys' kindy teacher, and both their kids, the same age as my two older boys are best buddies in school.
:)
Myron turned 3 months on June 6th.
Myron is now trying do a flip (roll-over) from lying on his back to being on his tummy.
Because we usually prop him up on an adult pillow, he is using gravity as his ever faithful,
never-fail assistant.
Myron has also started drooling 2 days ago.
Now Mommy is a little nervous, watching to see when is he going to sprout his first tooth/teeth. His two older brothers started teething at 4.5 months and 4 months.
We love you so much, precious boy. You were the most amazing surprise from God.
Yes, I believe every child is a gift from God.
June 2nd was also our
8th wedding anniversary.
We actually share the same dates, same year with 2 other couples whom we have been friends with many years.
One is my good friend from University Malaya, who was my course mate for 4 years, my roommate for 2.5 years, and then we did our MA together and she stayed with my family for 1.5 years. We screamed when we found out tha we were getting married on the same day. Unfortunately we were in different towns. She was 2 hours away from us, so we did not get to attend each others' wedding.
The other is a couple we have known for a good while, and they and I worked in the same office space for 3 years. Now the wife is one of my boys' kindy teacher, and both their kids, the same age as my two older boys are best buddies in school.
:)
Myron turned 3 months on June 6th.
Myron is now trying do a flip (roll-over) from lying on his back to being on his tummy.
Because we usually prop him up on an adult pillow, he is using gravity as his ever faithful,
never-fail assistant.
Myron has also started drooling 2 days ago.
Now Mommy is a little nervous, watching to see when is he going to sprout his first tooth/teeth. His two older brothers started teething at 4.5 months and 4 months.
Wednesday, 4 February 2009
Gadget-daddy's Third Pregnancy
I have been wanting to write this post for while, but CNY came into the picture...
And I actually have more pictures to show... but...
Anyway,
When I was pregnant for the first time, we were all anxious and excited.
Of course I had already mentioned before (here) that we only discovered the pregnancy when I was already 14 weeks into it, so the first trimester was all over.
Anyway, Gadget-daddy made all the doctor's visits with me,
did his dishes, and mine, most of the time after meals,
helped mop the floor,
set up a website for photos and updates (of which the server has now crashed),
and filled up petrol for the car every time I mentioned a need to (I had my own car then).
When I was pregnant with Max (full story here), Gadget-daddy spent as much of his time as he could with Micah, who was about a year old then.
I can't recall much of what else he did, but while I was surprised by the second pregnancy, he was not. (Hmmm...? You say?) This was because I was still breastfeeding Micah, and while we did not use any contraceptives, I was still not expecting to conceive so soon.
Now, with the Third baby on the way (and pretty soon too),
Gadget daddy's very helpful with the two boys,
does most of my little beck-and-calls when I am on my aching back,
gives me back rubs and
rescues me in the night when I have cramps on my leg
and fills petrol for me too, except on a couple of occasions when he was away.
But this time round, there is no dish washing or mopping of floors.
Not that I'm complaining, but just different.
Besides, I feel the most important thing is what he is doing most of the time :
Spending time and bonding with his two older boys, before the third one arrives.
But he had it easy with all the pregnancies as there were:
No problem sleeping*
And that's because most of the time I sleep quite well and even when I don't, I'm not troubled by his snoring. I have heard from some men how their pregnant wives would "smack" them in the night because they cannot sleep and are even more aggravated by the husband's snorings.
No Mid-night cravings demands
I have also heard of how some pregnant wives demanded their sleeping husbands to get them something to eat/drink. One was of a craving for coconuts from the neighbour's house!!
So we are good and happy when we are pregnant.
:)
* The only complaint he made was in the first pregnancy, by the third trimester, I had to be surrounded by pillows so that I could sleep well and his complained was that I took up 2/3 of our bed. He felt crowded on our king-size bed.
And I actually have more pictures to show... but...
Anyway,
When I was pregnant for the first time, we were all anxious and excited.
Of course I had already mentioned before (here) that we only discovered the pregnancy when I was already 14 weeks into it, so the first trimester was all over.
Anyway, Gadget-daddy made all the doctor's visits with me,
did his dishes, and mine, most of the time after meals,
helped mop the floor,
set up a website for photos and updates (of which the server has now crashed),
and filled up petrol for the car every time I mentioned a need to (I had my own car then).
When I was pregnant with Max (full story here), Gadget-daddy spent as much of his time as he could with Micah, who was about a year old then.
I can't recall much of what else he did, but while I was surprised by the second pregnancy, he was not. (Hmmm...? You say?) This was because I was still breastfeeding Micah, and while we did not use any contraceptives, I was still not expecting to conceive so soon.
Now, with the Third baby on the way (and pretty soon too),
Gadget daddy's very helpful with the two boys,
does most of my little beck-and-calls when I am on my aching back,
gives me back rubs and
rescues me in the night when I have cramps on my leg
and fills petrol for me too, except on a couple of occasions when he was away.
But this time round, there is no dish washing or mopping of floors.
Not that I'm complaining, but just different.
Besides, I feel the most important thing is what he is doing most of the time :
Spending time and bonding with his two older boys, before the third one arrives.
But he had it easy with all the pregnancies as there were:
No problem sleeping*
And that's because most of the time I sleep quite well and even when I don't, I'm not troubled by his snoring. I have heard from some men how their pregnant wives would "smack" them in the night because they cannot sleep and are even more aggravated by the husband's snorings.
No Mid-night cravings demands
I have also heard of how some pregnant wives demanded their sleeping husbands to get them something to eat/drink. One was of a craving for coconuts from the neighbour's house!!
So we are good and happy when we are pregnant.
:)
* The only complaint he made was in the first pregnancy, by the third trimester, I had to be surrounded by pillows so that I could sleep well and his complained was that I took up 2/3 of our bed. He felt crowded on our king-size bed.
Saturday, 11 October 2008
Might As Well
My family have this thing about trying to do as many things along the same line as possible.
It is a phrase called "soon-sau" in Cantonese, meaning "along the flow of the hand".
For example, if we were going down town to the market, my mom will bring along her utility bills to pay at the post office near where we park the car. It's also at this time she will call a friend if she wants fresh eggs from a certain egg seller. Sometimes, on the way back, we will do a short detour to get nice egg tarts from a certain pastry shop famous for their egg tarts and puffs.
The same rule runs in the house. If you're heading to the kitchen we pick up cups and dishes that needs to be washed. Sometimes, along the way, we will pick up crumbs of tissues dropped by the kids. Similarly, a quick stop is made on the track to the kitchen to wipe a spill on the floor along the path.
Gadget-daddy's brain, when it comes to chores or running errands, is not wired this way. He is "very focused" and will only think of the one thing that needs to be done and go do it.
Need to go down to the bank to drop off a check.
That's it.
I wonder why he does not think of making another drop off at the same area of town, or if you're heading to your office, you could also, along the way, drop by the mall and get "that" birthday gift.
Or, since you're already in town, why not just have lunch at this place good for steam fish then head home (he'd just think of something simple to take away near by our place).
I am sure this has all to do with the way our own family functioned... maybe also a little bit of gender bias-ness. As in the way our brains are wired and how boys and girls have been brought up differently - to look out for things that needs to be done, and what is expected of you.
I remember my mom would call out,
"Don't just walk past that paper on the floor. Pick it up."
"Since you're washing up your cup, might as well wash up the other two in the sink too."
"Since you're already dirty, might as well come help move this flower pot before you wash up."
Gadget-daddy's probably never got such reminders hollered at him umpteen times till it's ingrained into the system.
I think this explains why sometimes it takes me longer to get from point A to B, which would be a little agitating to Gadget-daddy.
And sometimes I just can't understand why he does not get D and E done on the list when it's just "right beside" A, B and C.
Hmmm...
The good thing I suppose is that neither of us are very insistent on how things should be done, and really give way to each other's weaknesses/ differences.
So we might have to go down an extra trip down town tomorrow. OK... guess that'll give us something to do.
So we are delayed a little in going out, but at least when we get back, the room is not a mess or the laundry will be ready for the trip tomorrow.
Well, folks. Have a good weekend.
It is a phrase called "soon-sau" in Cantonese, meaning "along the flow of the hand".
For example, if we were going down town to the market, my mom will bring along her utility bills to pay at the post office near where we park the car. It's also at this time she will call a friend if she wants fresh eggs from a certain egg seller. Sometimes, on the way back, we will do a short detour to get nice egg tarts from a certain pastry shop famous for their egg tarts and puffs.
The same rule runs in the house. If you're heading to the kitchen we pick up cups and dishes that needs to be washed. Sometimes, along the way, we will pick up crumbs of tissues dropped by the kids. Similarly, a quick stop is made on the track to the kitchen to wipe a spill on the floor along the path.
Gadget-daddy's brain, when it comes to chores or running errands, is not wired this way. He is "very focused" and will only think of the one thing that needs to be done and go do it.
Need to go down to the bank to drop off a check.
That's it.
I wonder why he does not think of making another drop off at the same area of town, or if you're heading to your office, you could also, along the way, drop by the mall and get "that" birthday gift.
Or, since you're already in town, why not just have lunch at this place good for steam fish then head home (he'd just think of something simple to take away near by our place).
I am sure this has all to do with the way our own family functioned... maybe also a little bit of gender bias-ness. As in the way our brains are wired and how boys and girls have been brought up differently - to look out for things that needs to be done, and what is expected of you.
I remember my mom would call out,
"Don't just walk past that paper on the floor. Pick it up."
"Since you're washing up your cup, might as well wash up the other two in the sink too."
"Since you're already dirty, might as well come help move this flower pot before you wash up."
Gadget-daddy's probably never got such reminders hollered at him umpteen times till it's ingrained into the system.
I think this explains why sometimes it takes me longer to get from point A to B, which would be a little agitating to Gadget-daddy.
And sometimes I just can't understand why he does not get D and E done on the list when it's just "right beside" A, B and C.
Hmmm...
The good thing I suppose is that neither of us are very insistent on how things should be done, and really give way to each other's weaknesses/ differences.
So we might have to go down an extra trip down town tomorrow. OK... guess that'll give us something to do.
So we are delayed a little in going out, but at least when we get back, the room is not a mess or the laundry will be ready for the trip tomorrow.
Well, folks. Have a good weekend.
Wednesday, 10 September 2008
Pampering Our Men... and Vice-versa
Was reading this post at Mumsgather the other day, and I have to say:
These are the things I do to pamper Gadget-daddy:
Greet him at the door when he gets home, unless I am engaged with the kids, or did not hear him come in.
Get him his dinner, as in, dish out the rice and make sure what Mil cooked is OK for him (he is one Malaysian who does not take chilly and is 95% carnivorous). Otherwise, I will make him a couple of fried eggs or fried rice.
Get him water after meals and whenever he requests for one.
Make him tea, pour him juice, herbal tea, etc.
Make him a late dinner/ supper even after I'm already all ready for bed.
Cover him when he's asleep in case he gets cold in the middle of the night.
Be his pedicurist.
Give him a massage - back. legs, shoulders - where it's hurting, whenever needed. Usually after a strenuous badminton or basketball game.
Make sure there's a never ending supply of soap and shampoo and hair gel in the bathroom. (Isn't it like magic that these never run out? :D)
Make sure laundry is done in time for his travels.
Pack his bag for him when he/we have to travel.
Stay up to keep him company if he has to work late - Hahaha... that's when I go visiting you blog buddies.
Pampering Mommy, Gadget-daddy will:
Give a back rub frequently, especially these days.
Give me a good back scrub in the showers.
Do chores willingly upon request: laundry (excluding ironing), changing bed sheets, feeding the boys, bathing the boys, picking up after the boys.
Let me choose what to do on a Saturday.
Watch the boys so I can have lunch with a friend.
Attend to all my fuss, whines and cries regarding glitches on the computer.
Sit up in the middle of the night to lend me a shoulder to cry on and hear my complains.
Pour water for me after meals, should he finish first.
Make the effort to get us out on a date when the boys are taking their nap on a Saturday.
I'm sure there are more to list down, but, Oh... need to hit the hay. Actually promised Gadget-daddy I'd sleep early... Opps.
Sorry, Honey.
Anyone interested to put up your list? :)
These are the things I do to pamper Gadget-daddy:
Greet him at the door when he gets home, unless I am engaged with the kids, or did not hear him come in.
Get him his dinner, as in, dish out the rice and make sure what Mil cooked is OK for him (he is one Malaysian who does not take chilly and is 95% carnivorous). Otherwise, I will make him a couple of fried eggs or fried rice.
Get him water after meals and whenever he requests for one.
Make him tea, pour him juice, herbal tea, etc.
Make him a late dinner/ supper even after I'm already all ready for bed.
Cover him when he's asleep in case he gets cold in the middle of the night.
Be his pedicurist.
Give him a massage - back. legs, shoulders - where it's hurting, whenever needed. Usually after a strenuous badminton or basketball game.
Make sure there's a never ending supply of soap and shampoo and hair gel in the bathroom. (Isn't it like magic that these never run out? :D)
Make sure laundry is done in time for his travels.
Pack his bag for him when he/we have to travel.
Stay up to keep him company if he has to work late - Hahaha... that's when I go visiting you blog buddies.
Pampering Mommy, Gadget-daddy will:
Give a back rub frequently, especially these days.
Give me a good back scrub in the showers.
Do chores willingly upon request: laundry (excluding ironing), changing bed sheets, feeding the boys, bathing the boys, picking up after the boys.
Let me choose what to do on a Saturday.
Watch the boys so I can have lunch with a friend.
Attend to all my fuss, whines and cries regarding glitches on the computer.
Sit up in the middle of the night to lend me a shoulder to cry on and hear my complains.
Pour water for me after meals, should he finish first.
Make the effort to get us out on a date when the boys are taking their nap on a Saturday.
***************
I'm sure there are more to list down, but, Oh... need to hit the hay. Actually promised Gadget-daddy I'd sleep early... Opps.
Sorry, Honey.
Anyone interested to put up your list? :)
Wednesday, 3 September 2008
Tagged: With Memories
Got tagged by Ann.
1. In which month and year did you meet your husband for the first time?
Maybe August, 1990. Can't remember the month, but remembered the incident very clearly: It was at a Christian Fellowship meeting in St. John's and I was taking attendance.
2. In which month and year did you two officially starting dating?
17 February, 1994. After I finished my last assignment for that term, end of my first year in UM.
3. Where was the first dating place the two of you went to?
Erm.... can't remember...we were always together, like he would come pick me, or spend some time at my place or me at his place, involving family members, but mostly with other friends. How to count as date?
Maybe my 21st Birthday, but that was an accidental date, and we weren't officially dating... He came to take me out for dinner. Was suppose to bring a friend along, as a surprise, but could not contact her.
4. What was the most touching thing he did for you when you two were still dating?
Set up ICQ for me and patiently taught me how to use it before going off to finish his studies in UK.
5. How about after your marriage?
His presence and support during my father's funeral.
6. Share your lowest period of your life with him.
When I was going through a very heart-breaking experience...he never stayed away from me but braved all the storms with me and sometimes from me.
And also during my miscarriage in March 2008.
7. Share your happiest moment with him?
When we found out I was pregnant, for all 4 times!!.
8. Share your saddest moment with him.
The day he broke my heart.
9. Share your angriest moment with him.
There was an issue we had to sort out and he fell asleep. I woke him up with a bash of a pillow.
10. Share your funniest moment with him.
That time we went ice-skating at The Mines and he was suppose to pull me along for a "ride". Suddenly he went behind me and pushed me instead. Eventually I lost control and we both crashed on the ice.
11. Share your most frustrated moment with him.
When I couldn't get him to confirm a date for something I feel major. That was a project at my last work place which he volunteered to help. It was very stressful.
12. Lastly, when was the last time you two hold hands and walk under the moonlight, like how you used to do?
Moonlight...is kinda hard to come by as we are not usually outdoors by the time the moon is out. But we hold hand as often as we can, even in bed.
What about you?
Infant
Update on 5 Sept 2008:
Corrected the dates on Q1 and Q2.
Thanks to MRex.
1. In which month and year did you meet your husband for the first time?
Maybe August, 1990. Can't remember the month, but remembered the incident very clearly: It was at a Christian Fellowship meeting in St. John's and I was taking attendance.
2. In which month and year did you two officially starting dating?
17 February, 1994. After I finished my last assignment for that term, end of my first year in UM.
3. Where was the first dating place the two of you went to?
Erm.... can't remember...we were always together, like he would come pick me, or spend some time at my place or me at his place, involving family members, but mostly with other friends. How to count as date?
Maybe my 21st Birthday, but that was an accidental date, and we weren't officially dating... He came to take me out for dinner. Was suppose to bring a friend along, as a surprise, but could not contact her.
4. What was the most touching thing he did for you when you two were still dating?
Set up ICQ for me and patiently taught me how to use it before going off to finish his studies in UK.
5. How about after your marriage?
His presence and support during my father's funeral.
6. Share your lowest period of your life with him.
When I was going through a very heart-breaking experience...he never stayed away from me but braved all the storms with me and sometimes from me.
And also during my miscarriage in March 2008.
7. Share your happiest moment with him?
When we found out I was pregnant, for all 4 times!!.
8. Share your saddest moment with him.
The day he broke my heart.
9. Share your angriest moment with him.
There was an issue we had to sort out and he fell asleep. I woke him up with a bash of a pillow.
10. Share your funniest moment with him.
That time we went ice-skating at The Mines and he was suppose to pull me along for a "ride". Suddenly he went behind me and pushed me instead. Eventually I lost control and we both crashed on the ice.
11. Share your most frustrated moment with him.
When I couldn't get him to confirm a date for something I feel major. That was a project at my last work place which he volunteered to help. It was very stressful.
12. Lastly, when was the last time you two hold hands and walk under the moonlight, like how you used to do?
Moonlight...is kinda hard to come by as we are not usually outdoors by the time the moon is out. But we hold hand as often as we can, even in bed.
What about you?
Infant
Update on 5 Sept 2008:
Corrected the dates on Q1 and Q2.
Thanks to MRex.
Wednesday, 27 August 2008
Sharing Heartaches
I am walking through a very rough patch with a friend in her marriage.
Things have been tough from the time they got married but after all the changes she's made for him, she now suspects he is unfaithful.
She is afraid of what the future may hold, starting this weekend.
I am afraid for her.
Generalisation:
A man thinks he can have his flings and affairs and when he has had enough, he can come back to his wife and kids and expects a warm welcome. She/they should be glad he chose to come back.
BUT
If she had been unfaithful, it's the end right away. She should be stripped of all rights and even have her children taken from her and there will no reservations spelling out her sins to her kids or to anyone else...
If a man is unfaithful, many wonders why his wife did not satisfy him or how she failed meet his expectations.
BUT
If a woman is unfaithful she is labeled a whore, b*tch, gatal, miang, etc...
A woman is expected to still keep her family intact despite the failure of the man of the house.
BUT
If a woman has failed to keep the household intact, the man has the right to demand another woman do it. Marry another woman, any woman, with no one questioning him doing so.
I think of some women I know, mostly my mom's generations, who would just run their home as smoothly despite their knowing their husbands' unfaithfulness. They think nothing of their rights, their needs. They only think of taking care of the children and to have a roof over their heads and food on the table. They keep themselves busy through the day, but I wonder how they handle the time alone before they sleep... if they can sleep.
As for our generation, I've already heard of a few of my former schoolmates divorced. Some with kids, some without. I don't know the whole story behind it, but if it involved an affair, I am sure no woman is going to stand for this today, whether your religion allows it or not.
So maybe some men, maybe quite a lot of men, are still stuck in the times of "Abraham and the forefathers" where you can have more than one wife for whatever reason...
So tonight, after talking and crying with my friend,
I kissed my darling boys and prayed
that they will be men who will be good and faithful husbands,
and they will have good and faithful wives.
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