Separation Anxiety

I guess it's always hard with the first one: Letting go.

Micah is to "start" kindy tomorrow.
Actually the play group we go to has a Montessori's class running alongside. The coordinator is kind enough to let Micah try going in for class once a week from now until when the new term starts in June. Then he will begin proper. It's been a long winding road for me in mulling over what kind of education we want for our kids and where to get it. It's really one of the hardest decisions to make, and even that you know you can't control what your child will turn out to be at the end of the day. I don't know if it was any easier when it was my parents' time, but it sure is so much harder now with the fact that society is so fluid and unstable, plus there are so many more options to choose from: Chinese medium, private schools, international schools, schools with heritage, the school in our neighbourhood, and home schooling...


Micah is to "start" kindy tomorrow.
I don't know if I am ready to let him go. He is not yet three. I am not being "kiasu" in starting him out too early. In fact, if I could I would like to keep him as how we are now for as long as we can. But he is getting restless at home. The fact is that he has never been away from a family member before. He is always with Mike and I or grandma, grandpa, Mike bro, or my sisters, to go the furthest. So this is going to be a new chapter. And I am anxious. I don't know how he will take it. I don't know if I am ready for him to grow up so fast. Micah has always been fast. He talked fast...he runs fast, he picks up things fast. But emotionally he is still a baby. A 2+ year old child. He has reconciliation issues: He cannot reconcile his emotions and his limits with what he can think of or want to do....

Micah is to "start" kindy tomorrow.
I can remember my first day at kindy. I was 3+, turning 4. I was not afraid because my big sister was also in the same kindy and I knew if anything goes wrong, she will be there for me. Of course I was excited to be in school at last. I could remember the days in the year/ years(?) before when I would walk with my mum to send my sister to school and we would watch her through the assembly and then the singing classes. How I had wanted to be with her. So I was finally there. And I remember feeling like a big girl in the class and wondering why are some kids such cry babies... I can remember my first school bag (it was more like a rattan picnic basket), my first handcraft in class (we made a fan with an ice-cream stick and a cardboard which i drew a picture of a boat out at sea on a sunny day), my teacher (Miss Wong) holding my hand to help me trace my first writing of the letter "a"; I remember the names of the two boys who sat in the front of my row (Philip and Wai Hong), they were the teacher's pets; I remember how the classroom looked like, where the little girls' room was, the drinking tap just outside my classroom, and how the whole place looked so big to me then.

Micah is to "start" kindy tomorrow.
I don't know if I am ready....