Thank You, and A String of...

Thank you, my faithful readers and blog buddies for still coming in and commenting when I have been slacking so much. You really made my day. :)

So my string of excuses for not blogging, and to apologise profusely for not visiting your blogs,
(not that long a string) is that...

I am usually exhausted by the time night comes, having to give all my energy and attention to 3 boys throughout the day.
Honestly, having 2 is really comfortable and 3 is stretching your body and brain. But I am glad for the stretch.
I suppose it's just that some time is needed to adjust to the extra demands... like 3 years?!! Hahaha...

I think part of my coping mechanism to all the stress of change and emotional turmoil is to be quiet and curl up like a snail in its shell. I tend to want to sleep more, or maybe I feel the need more for my time. So in between attending to the boys, when I need a toilet break or before I shower, I actually sneak some time to tweet, or read other people's tweets (confession of how twitter is pinching time from my blogging). Of course I am actually looking out for Gadget-daddy's tweets. ;D

I also just realised why I blog less even though I wake up more often to feed Myron in the nights. It's because feeding Myron in the night requires me to make milk and feed him from a cup, now that he has refuse to nurse directly. That's actually really more tiring.

Also, he is a snuggle bunny boy. After a feed, he will roll about in bed whimpering until he is snug right beside me. So I have to lie down with him until he is in deep sleep. Usually, by that time I too would be in deep sleep. somehow, today I managed to be pretty awake.
:D

So without any more delays, Let me come "visit" you.
:)

Have a good weekend.

Deep Roots

I am so no good at change.
I am so happy with my happy routines of hanging out with my kids and my family, doing the same ole, same ole.
My kind of happy unhappening day....

Now I am struggling.
Mental preoccupation would be scenes of all sorts of what-if's:

How to get to school with 3 boys, baby in tow, before we get our car?
What to cook for breakfast everyday? Dinner? Lunch could be simple...
How much time should I spend with my sister and her kids before we hit "familiarity breeds contempt"?
How much mess can I cope with on a daily basis if the boys are left with less adult supervision (while I attend to the baby)?
How often can I take them out on my own... will I be brave enough even just to go down to the park near our block without yelling at them to stay close to me...and have no accidents.
Will I still have time and energy left to blog?
Doctor for the kids and ourselves?

Then there's the packing...
(I'll spare you...)

Then there are certain issues with the government, i.e. getting a change/transfer of driving license, green card, etc.

I am afraid to start packing because I feel like if I were to start putting things in boxes, I will still have to fish some things out before the move...
making a list mentally...
But will be more certain after we check out the place for real this coming trip.

Official move, when gadget-daddy rents a car/van to transport the stuff:
After Christmas.

Mean time we'll be doing a bit of a shuttling up and down the highway, and across the Causeway.

Journey to the North

We are renting an MPV and I have not driven anything bigger than our Honda city for the last 6 years.

We are going up to Penang to see my brother's baby and doing the fullmoon celebration.

I wonder if I have packed enough or over packed.

Hope I did not forget anything vital.

No need passport.

Myron calling. gotta go.

In Limbo and Feeling It

Tomorrow we will be saying good-bye to our faithful Honda City which has been with us since we started the journey of expecting baby no.1 and has seen us through the last 6 years.

It has brought home our 3 babies from the hospital when they arrived in this world.
It has brought us home safe from the many trips we made out station to Taiping, Penang, Singapore, Melacca, Port Dickson, Johor and Kuantan.

It has made a run for us every day, be it for an errand near by, or to school and back, or a trip out station.

We will have to cope with one car, borrow in-law's car, for the next 7 weeks or so.
Then, when we are more settled in Singapore, we will be getting a car there (have some procedures to go through). Just can't do without wheels after being so used to having them.

Plus it's just too crazy to be taking public transport with 3 kids, who at any time might...
A) want to go to the bathroom,
B) fall asleep on the journey,
C) need a snack on the way
D) is sick or cranky or both.

I can't imagine also to be

D) watching all 3 getting on-off the bus/train/cab,
E) + need to carry some stuff, i.e. stroller/ shopping/ groceries/picnic basket;
F) + pay the fares;
G) + deal with the crowd and their stares, rude comments, etc.

You can imagine all the possible crazy combination of scenarios of the above,
so we are getting a car.
Besides all the possible madness of the above, the waiting for public transport, standing at bus stops, cab stands and train stations is just to dangerous for 3 little monkeys with just one mama gorilla.

So, today, when Gadget-daddy was driving us to have dinner with Ah Ma and Ee-ee, we felt nostalgic.
Another phase of our lives is coming to pass and we can already the start of the change of scenes.
It started with getting the boys registered for school just a few days back, but more clearly now, with the giving up of our car.

I am feeling it's all so surreal.
Part of me is feeling anxious about adjusting to the changes, and the the things need to be done.
The other part, the self-defense part, is blocking out feelings of uncertainties, not imagining worse-case-scenarios, not imagining ...

I feel like I'm in those old movies where there's not much CGI and the character in a falling motion but the background is a warped black-and-white spinning wheel.

School is almost out for the boys.
Then we'll just be hanging around for a while, with some plans for travelling up to Penang for my brother's baby's Fullmoon, and maybe one down to Singapore when we get the key to our place. Must go check our the place and then plan the stuff/ how much stuff to bring down...

So we are moving.
For Real!
Eeek!

To Sleep Or Not To Sleep

Was up expressing milk for Myron at 2.55am*.
Came back to bed with the sleeping baby at about 3.30am.

Now I am still awake.

Was watching my babies sleep...
Hugged each one of them a but while I whispered,
"Mummy and Daddy love you so much."
For the littlest one on my bed, I smelled him and watched him the most.




In the midst of many thoughts... two people.
My father, whose 8th Anniversary was on 8th November,
And Matthew's 1st that was on 31 Oct.
They are still missed so much by their loved ones.

Yes, and missing Gadget-daddy.
2 weeks away is really just too long for us all.
Max mentioned today, "I wish Daddy was back, Mom."
Looking forward to his being back this weekend.

Ok. Should get some rest.
Taking the boys to school in a few hours' time.
Wish I have more time to go blog-hopping... :P


Goodnight.




*Myron has decided he does not want to nurse directly anymore. Every time I put him to the breast he will either turn away or bite me. Looks like we will just go until I can't produce enough milk to be expressed. So this baby might break my good record of breastfeeding beyond 12 months. *sigh*.
Now breastfeeding is extra troublesome as it involves 2 people. In his sleepy-hungry mode, he want to be held. So while drinking from his cup or waiting for more milk, Grandma has to carry him. *sigh*

Time Out

I don't mean the time we went out, but oh, I need a time out!!

We were in Sinapore last weekend to spend some time with Gadget-daddy, but travelling with 3 kids is so tiring! We didn't even do anything adventurous this time...at least Myron and I didn't.
We stayed home on the day Gadget-daddy took the 2 older boys swimming and my sister's family went too. My mum and I and Myron stayed back so that he could get some shut eye while my mom and I prepared a bak-kut-teh dinner for a friend visiting that night.

Anyway, since coming back, I have been joining the kids at their bed-time, well, a little after them, but just feel so worn-out through the day.

Could be that Myron is now exhibiting the teething blues - refusing to nurse but crying more frequently though the day and night.

Could be the constant playing referee and judge and jury for the two older boys, and also monitor them at homework time...

Could be the lack of help with the boys in the night, now that their daddy is in another country.

Could be the anxiety about getting a car there and getting the boys registered on time for school... and how to move stuff down, when and how much of what....

I am so ready to sleep...
*yawn*


p/s- will come back and update this with some pix.
Just can't get myself to go get my camera right now. *yawn*

2 Halves Of A 'Pinang'

Gadget-daddy has already left for Singapore.

I was feeling like we were being separated for the first time, like when he went to finish his studies in UK... more than 15 years ago.

This morning, after breakfast, I lay in bed for a little while to moap.
Then got ready to go out. Took the 3 boys and mil out for a no-reason-trip.
But we ended up in McD for lunch and had quite a fun time (sent mil and Myron back first as baby was asleep and mil sleepy).

So it doesn't get easier through the years. Even with all his early jet-setting days, the many months in US and the last long term away, Jakarta... Seems like it's something I can't get use to.

Well, some things are a little better... or worse. The boys are here to keep me company, and keep me busy.
They sometimes forget and ask when Daddy will be home (as in what time today) so that he can help them with some Transformer toy.
Then Micah will ask why can't we just stay in Malaysia, as he will miss his grandparents.

Today, for their bedtime story, I told them an old story that Gadget-daddy had made up when I was expecting no.2.
...
...
...

Ok... shall spare you.
Will go hit the hay now.
Boys have school tomorrow.
Counting the days to this weekend.

Good night.

Recycle Freak

Occasionally one of my many panic buttons gets pushed.

This one was to go hug a tree... Well, kinda to that effect.

It was the day after we got back from Singapore.
It started with the simple thought of re-using a couple of plastic containers we had put put snacks in for the journey. When we got back, I washed the containers, packed them into a plastic bag to reuse them when I go buy snacks for the kids after school.

That's when I suddenly realised we had a ton of such containers stacked up under the kitchen counter and the giddiness began.

I matched a cover to each one of these and then packed them into two bags for the playgroup, where it would come in handy, as sometimes some moms are so generous with their snacks we get to pack their goodies home.



I also took out the boys' travelling-utensils and kept them in the car.


Now I also can refuse plastic forks and spoons from restaurants/coffeshops when I pack food for them after school.

I also carry three plastic bags in my handbag for in-case-I-decide-buy-something-at-the-supermarket. The three plastic bags are of different sizes. Easier to fold them into my handbag than to lug those reusable shopping bags that are thick and huge.

USE LESS PLASTIC.

Lazy Monday

I am so glad the boys' school is only Tuesday to Friday.
Sunday nights are usually a late night for us, with a visit from my mum.
So I am glad we need not rush for school the next day.

Today Gadget-daddy ook the car to work, so we are just playing at home. While the boys are playing with building blocks and their Transformer toys, Mommy is also indulging in some quiet time for herself:

Lazying in bed beside a beautiful sleeping baby,



... and getting into some reading (Finishing Ripples and will start on Thirteen Tales as soon as I can.)


By the way, Shi-Li Kow's book, Ripples, has been short-listed for the Frank O'Connor award.

Playgroup Malaysia, Bangsar Gospel Hall : A Need To Say My Piece

Update: This post was originally posted on 17 July 2009. I have changed the title so that it would be easily found when one searches for "Playgroup Malaysia" on the internet.
A special thanks to all the mums who have voiced their support for the wonderful playgroup which we have been/ are all part of.


I was shocked (appalled, aghast, angered even) when I read this "blog" about the playgroup my kids use to go to.

I know the place well, and I know the coordinator well through the four years my kids have been there.
Everything said in that blog is untrue.
On top of that, the person who started this "blog"* obviously did it with out of malice and with intent to slander.

(AArgh! ... Ok... Let me be cool about this and tell you the TRUTH about this place without)

This group has been running for years by the same coordinator. And I know of friends whose kids were there and are now in their pre-teens and they would be shock if they read the lies on that site.

Here is what I and the mums at the group would tell you about the playgroup.

# The person in charge is a fully qualified Montessori teacher. There are three full-time teachers and at least three regular volunteers who have a number of years of experience handling children of ages 0-6 in this place. The coordinator is always gentle and never raises her voice. She is always encouraging and never insistent. (In fact, when she came across this blog, she was so troubled by it, and then was apologetic to have called and troubled me regarding this: She, not really into blogging and surfing the net, wanted to know how to go about contacting the person to seek some explanation, which was impossible anyway.)

# The teachers and volunteers are really dedicated. The teachers and volunteers are moms themselves. I once volunteered to be involved and was called in for a planning meeting. We planned a theme for the term and then down to who is to do what for each playgroup meet. Most of the time the coordinator will step in to fill in all the gaps herself, should one of us not be able to make it, even at the last minute.

# Should you choose to join the group, you are given a list of guidelines to make the place comfortable for everyone, and every child. There is even a list of suggestions of what kind of snacks to bring should you volunteer to be on duty to be sure that it's nutritious for the kids. (I really found that so helpful, especially when it's your first time bringing a snack. On top of that I'm not the serious cooking-baking type. Hahaha)

# Moms are usually invited to be involved in taking a session so that they have a place to explore their talents, and also to bring the snack of the day. The key word is invited. Some moms have confessed they have stage-fright and were never forced to do a session, while some were happy to do more than one a term. Some mom's would be happy just being on the snack duty roster. (When I am on snack duty I bring what I know my kids would eat. Hehehe..)

# Should you be in the group and your child has some behavioral problem, she normally shares about how she would address certain problems with the child And this she does in private with the mom so as not to make that mom nor others feel uncomfortable. But some moms are really open and we discuss on coping with certain issues with our growing child.

# Should you choose to join the group, you pay a fee for a term (for three months), which is really nominal. We have never been asked to pay for any of the materials for crafts, even when we used some really expensive stuff, like glass paint and magnets discs. We were never asked to fork out anything when we discover new toys brought in at the start of a new term. The coordinator once brought a mini slide in from her own home even!

# There are always new people coming to visit or joining in the group simply by word of mouth, and sometimes there is even a waiting list (when I frist brought Micah, he was almost 2, but because of the crowd, she asked very kindly if I would mind coming to the younger group first until some of the children "graduated" to pre-school). Most of us are Malaysians, but we also have quite a few who hold foreign passports, who are PRs in Malaysia. (Here I have tasted food from quite a few countries, and also learnt interesting things about their cultures and homeland.)

# Some of us moms choose to celebrate our child's birthdays there because it is a place we have come to belong.

Micah celebrated his 2nd birthday at the playgroup.

# The year end Christmas party is always a big bash, by sheer number of moms and their kids, and sometimes even the fathers and grandmas and granddads come too. The goody-bag for the kids always amazes me, and the array of food at the party, pot-luck style, is amazing. Some moms are so kind that even when they can't make it for the party, they still volunteer to send the food for the rest of us to enjoy.

# The playgroup does a special Mother's Day celebration for the mums every year, strictly for mums only, so that we have a couple of hours to relax and enjoy our food and chit-chats without having to fuss or worry about our little darlings. And this is free of charge even! (They have even asked me to bring my mom and my mil!! So generous of them.)


I think the playgroup we go to really is great. In fact, so may times I have wished that I drive an MPV, if not a bus, so that I could bring moms and their kids from my neighbourhood for this enriching and bonding time together.

Now I'm just waiting for Myron to be a little better from his cough before I bring him in.




*Come on. How can you call this blog "Malaysia Playgroup" when there are no other entrees on any other playgroups (good, bad, location, programmes, etc) and there are no updates whatsoever. There isn't even an option to post a comment or to contact the author of the blog, who has remained anonymous.

Ramblings Before Bed

I had a headache this evening.
I mean a real physical-pain headache, and not the kind your kids give you sometimes.
I don't usually get a headache, and I can't remember when I had one the last time.

I can't tell if it's from the running around the whole half a day,
or a lack of sleep,
or that I'm finally having my first menstruation 4 months after giving birth,
or that I had cleaned up Max's puke in the car, after taking it to a car wash (which did a shoddy job and totally did nothing to clean out the puke). Is it the bending over for a long time in puke fume or the disinfectant?

Fell asleep with the two older boys after telling them their bedtime story, while Myron was sleeping in grandma's room. Don't know when Gadget-daddy got back from his games, but he woke me up when grandma brought Myron in, and that was at 1am. Now I am done with the bits of left over of the day - done ironing.

Tomorrow: school.

Under Currents - Updates

Turns out that the little bumps/blisters on Myron's feet are actually ants bites.
Phew. What a relief.

Yes, I am so So glad Gadget-daddy was right, and that I need not have panicked and got all worried for nothing.

So tomorrow we will be off to see my grandma.
I hope she will wait for us.

When We were kids, my older sister and I would go to Taiping a few days ahead of our parents with a relative and stay with our grandma, my mom's mom. We would have three cousins (children of my first uncle) if not more (children of other aunts and uncle sent to be cared by grandma full time for a few months if not years) staying with grandma and we played all the time: Hop-scotch, hide-and-seek were our favourite.

We would sleep on an elevated wooden platform, all the kids in a row, with a pillow and a blanket. At certain seasons there would be a huge mosquio net hung across the platform. I remembered the one we had was pink, and it made me think of candyfloss. Usually we all would chat and laugh until grandma comes in to turn off the lights and then we would settle to sleep one by one. Grandma slept on the edge of the platform.

Every morning she would serve us a cup of coffee, with sugar, but no milk, and we would have to wait for breakfast to be bought back from the market. My uncle's wife usually did that for us. Lunch was usually plaine rice porridge with a fried egg each. We added soy sauce and pepper to taste. Dinner was a little more lavish, with a meat dish and vegetables. I remembered her steamed mince pork was my favourite.

Grandma's family lived simple lives. They had no TV, no refrigerator, and no telephone for the longest time. I remembered my mother had to call a neighbour's house and she would holler over the fence and grandma would hurry over. Sometimes my mom would put the phone down first and call again in a minute to save on outstation-calls charges.

It was at her place I had a first hand experience of bathing by a well (getting water out with a bucket at the end of a string requires real skill, I discovered) and using a real outhouse, bucket toilet (tandas tong!!). The later probably gave me constipation for the years to come because I would try not to go as long as I could. It was really too disgusting to describe.

------

Ah... so many stories to tell... but will have to wait till I come back in a couple of days' time.
Now off to bed for I will be driving that 3 hour journey up north.

Under Currents

I'm in a frazzle.
I feel being swept under by a huge river.

Myron showed 3 little bumps on his feet this evening.
Gadget-daddy says don't panic. Don't be so negative.
I have booked a place at the doc's.
Going off soon to have it looked at.
My greatest fear: Hand-foot-mouth.

I was packing half way this evening.
I had called my mom and asked her to call my aunt in Taiping.
My grandma is dying. She would be 90 this year.
I had wanted to bring the boys to see their great-grandma for one last time.
Been thinking a lot about her the last few days.
She has not eaten for three weeks and now just sleeps all the time.
I am anxious: will we make it before it's too late?

Gotta go to the doctor's now.

Labeling

Hello, my blog buddies and friends.

In case you have not noticed, I am now labeling my posts.

In fact, I am going backwards to start putting labels on my old posts.

Going backwards to label is hard work.
Ok, not exactly that difficult, but it's tedious.

And I think I should go to bed now.
Made it to 100 posts backwards since 3 nights ago.
Will soon have it displayed on the side bar.

Good night for now.

Actually...

Actually, ...
I want to do a post to record Micah's milestone for his 5th birthday... but I am rather tired. Even to blog, I think of it many many times before finally get myself to sit here, just unloading my brain off whatever that's there.



Myron has been completely spoilt having had Mommy at his "goo"s and "gaa"s for the last week that he really only wants to nurse and sleep and sleep and nurse. This is both draining and sleep-mode setting.



Actually, ...
I also had a half written poem on my draft. Wanted to surprise hubby for our anniversary, but it's not moving anywhere just yet.
Another belated post to come.


Actually, ....
I wanted to post up pictures of our trip to Phuket, but just thinking of all the time it takes to upload the photos... already feel a yawn coming...

So today I asked Gadget-daddy if he was going to blog about our trip, and he said yes. Yet I know he has other things on his to-do list that is of higher priority...
So guess that's gonna come along later too.

At the beach, Chalong Bay.

At the beach, Coral Island

At the beach at our hotel

Actually,...
I took some photos of my boys playing in the garden today. They were so funny declaring it was our car's birthday (of course not. Just pretend, ok, mom?) and they strew flowers all over the hood. Of course I had to give them a good scrub after that as they were on all fours scooping dried bougainvilleas from under tha plants in the porch. They are so funny.

I am now torn between sleeping right after this or if I should attempt to read a bit more of The Last Chinese Chef. Very tempting...
Might open the book then fall asleep on it...

Good night, my blog buddies...
*yaaawn*


Update: 12:27am.
Reading while uploading some photos to this post.
Guess that worked out well. Looks like I'll be reading a bit more then.
:)

Sorry, MIA

Hey, all.

Sorry I pulled a Houdini on you.

We had actually planned a holiday sometime back, but with all the madness of Micah's party and the costume party, I was just too tired to blog at the end of the day to let you know that we would be away. We were here:

Phuket, Thailand

Also, during some of my nights, while Gadget-daddy was busy doing some audio/visual editing, I took the chance to start reading this book,


and now I want to finish it fast because I want to start reading this book again!!


Thanks, Ee-ee for handing me both the books, TLCC on loan and T as a gift.

So I will come back and fill you in on our holiday a little later.

Right now, we are all beat.

My other sis and her 2 kids are back, so the next few days would mean more outings, lunch/dinner out. But most of the time it'll be more like,
"The circus is in Ah Ma's house!!"

Head Spinning

Micah's party is tomorrow....
I am not ready...
The goody-bags are already in school.
Got the drinks into the school fridge.
The cake has already been ordered.
Got Ee-ee to make a pasta.
Got mil to help fry some nuggets tomorrow morning.
But I can't find that stack of photos i got printed at the shop last year that has the boys' photos from the time Max was born...
Maaan! I'm in a mess...
Maybe don't do the "sun-walk"*...
Maybe do a pass-the-parcel game... then I'll have to prepare the game and some prizes...
Maybe play duck-duck-goose...
Maybe....
Arrrgh! Didn't get to pre-order the pizza before their closing time.
Must call tomorrow...
Must pick up the cake tomorrow.
Must remember to bring camera.
Must remember to ask one of the teachers to handle that for me. I'd be too busy trying to get my act together.
Myron and Mil will be there...hope baby can hold back needing a feed till food time.
Hufff.... think I need a drink...
Maybe a back rub... "Gadget-daddy...?"
....

* The "Sun-walk" was suggested by the teacher : walk around a pretend sun to talk about Micah's growth and his loves at different years, one round representing one year. Suppose to bring photos and some items. Like a show-and tell.

Sink, No Sync

This weekend, we are all out of sync and sinking.
Gadget-Daddy left for Singapore on Friday, leaving our weekend in some subtle kind of chaos.

Out of Sync.
It all started with a text message from my older sister in Singapore on Friday morning.
We had planned for this trip for more than 2 weeks and they boys had been really excited. Up to the very last minute, my younger sister and I were putting together a party pack for the 4 kids to celebrate Xue Han's birthday. I had also stayed up to 2 am on Thursday night packing stuff and filling the immigration card. We were all so so ready to go.
Friday morning, got the boys up for breakfast and changed and suddenly I saw the message from my sis saying her daughter has fever and cough. "You might want to reconsider bringing your kids."

The 4 cousins, CNY 2008

So the drama began with the boys crying, still wanting to go, but cannot go without Mommy and Mommy can't go because Myron has no food source except Mommy and he cannot risk being exposed to some germs/virus because he is too young. We spent two hours talking to the boys, bargaining, etc. (plus having to deal with anxious Grandma motherhen-ing around us all). Finally, Max decided he was going to go anyway* and so we packed his clothes from our suitcase (which was already in the car boot since the night before) into a small bag and handed his passport to his father, who was, actually, totally serious about taking him along, as he believed he could handle him "by himself" (besides there being other adults around, but they are not exactly counted as they are not from our home).

So we Max went off with Gadget-daddy in the car.
Our secret back-up plan was that Max be left at my mum's house when Gadget-daddy goes to pick her up for the trip. (She was getting a lift to go down Singapore to make rice-dumpling for my sister. We had also planned this weeks before.) I will then go pick Max up from there a little later, using grandpa's car, and send Ee-ee to work too.
Of course Gadget-daddy was seriously planning to take Max, as I'd said, but my sister called from Singapore, and again said her daughter is quite sick and we'll just have to wait for 2 more weeks for the school break before we get to see them. So I called Gadget-daddy that we'd have to use the back-up plan (Plan B? C? Oh, I can't keep track).

The whole time after Gadget-daddy left the house with Max, I was getting an ear-full from Grandma about how rash and silly we were letting the little boy go with his father alone. So when I finally told her that we are going to pick Max up from my mom's, Grandma was all too eager to follow along, as if she needs to see that Max still here for herself, asap. Unfortunately for her, Grandpa had left the house for his morning jog (couldn't stand the drama enfolding at that time) without any house keys. So she had to stay home with Myron after all, and that set us back like a whole hour "behind schedule" as it took her time to change, going out to try to look for Grandpa, and then me having to express milk for Myron**.

Micah loves taking photos with baby Myron.

So I finally left with Micah to go get Max and Ee-ee and headed off to a usual hang-out mall. We headed for the pasta place, and were obviously their first customer for the day (who eats pizza/ pasta at 11am?). But the pasta was not made right (they over-cooked the sauce, but we did not complain) and then one of the boys had a toilet accident because he was too buzy playing and did not mention the need for the toilet (which was like 200m away) till it was too late. So we ended up having to buy pants because we had used grandpa's car and there are no extra clothes for them there.

Finally Ee-ee went to work and we headed home.


Sinking in pee.
I was reading Toddlerdaddy's post on potty training his four-year-old and thought, "Yes, we should be making more effort night potty-training our almost 5 who like to have a bottle of milk (another thing to wean of soon) just before bed."

So for the past four days, Micah was doing well, as he goes to bed about 9.30 pm, and then we will wake him up to go to the toilet about 12am before we end our day. Then mommy will get him to go the the toilet again about 6am after the baby feeds. We have been so proud of ourselves for the whole week. Then after Gadget-daddy left on Friday morning, that night, Mommy*** fell asleep with the boys and was woken up at 3 am by Max (who had been sleeping without diapers for about 2 months now) crying that his pants was wet. He was actually sleeping on my bed. Then I looked and saw that the other one had also wet his bed. So, exactly, like Toddlerdaddy, I had to peel off pee-clad boys in the middle of the night.

All these might have just slip from being blogged about if the same incident as last night did not JUST happen (and I had changed the sheets this morning, and will have to do so again tomorrow). After changing the boys I was lying in bed and thinking about blogging this, and thought, Oh, if only there are wires I could hook up to my brain and get the computer to jot down my thought... Then the picture of a cyborg came to mind and it was just too freaky. So I had better just do what I want to do.

Oh, Can't wait for Gadget-daddy to be home tomorrow evening.

Now I am ready to feed the baby.

* Part of the drama/problem was because we made the mistake in saying we will take the boys to school, since they are up and dressed, but you know that's just "Preposterous!" that was to them as they were suppose to go for a holiday to see their beloved cousins and not school. After all, we had told them the day before that it was the "last day of school." And Max is just the least keen kindy-goer any kid could be.


** If you're wondering why I did not just strap Myron in a carseat, which we do have, and bring him along, Well, it would have given grandma another bout of high blood pressure as she is always worried about babies crying and then they might vomit and then choke in their vomit. Plus, it poses too much a danger as it might also distract the driver and cause an accident. Plus we have the other 2 kids in the car... *sigh* I am not worried, really, but I know she will be at her wits end thinking of me alone with 3 boys in the car on my way back. I listen to the old folks too much. If I had insisted on leaving with Myron, I know she would have chosen to come along and leave poor grandpa standing for hours at the front of our gate.


*** Besides the fact that we had had a dramatic morning that started at 7am, and that I did not sleep till 2.30 am the night before, I never realised how much I have been pushing my body to work for me around my 4 guys. So the only reason I usually stay up till 12am is because then I can have some time with Gadget-daddy, usually involving some adult conversations, like reporting what the boys did the whole day from my side, and some ranting from either/both sides. Occasionally we watch a bit of a movie and I am also, quite often, required to go rummage and whip something out of the kitchen.

I Can Only Imagine

My dear friend,

I bumped into you the other day and we talked as we walked to your car.

I can only imagine your pain.
I cannot say I know because that would be untrue.
I am not going through the grief you have to wrestle with every day, every night.
The pain that comes like spasms sporadically throughout the day.
Spasms that paralyzes you.

I can only imagine your pain.
I can only imagine how hard it is to sit in front of the computer wanting to blog, to keep a record so you will not forget.
You sit staring blankly at the screen, your fingers occasionally touching the keys at the key board, but most of the time your hands fell heavy and limp.

I can only imagine...
You sitting like a block of wood, unmoving.
But your brain is in a frenzy,
Like a whirlwind, spinning around in a kind of madness.
Time is being rewound and fast-forwarded.
Flashes of places and events.
Voices requesting, squealing, crying, protesting, repeating new words;
Conversations recalled,
How favourite songs were sung each time.
But everything is held by the one same golden strand -
Your beautiful boy.
Your beautiful beautiful boy.

I can only imagine...
You sitting quiet and still,
but your eyes occasionally lights up,
then dims,
then the tears begin to fall.

I can only imagine...
The emotions come like a tidal wave that breaks the dam.
The happy and joyous mixed with the pain of grief and loss.
Regrets. Gladness. The unbearable emptiness.
The tears can't seems to stop.
The pain has no end.

I can only imagine...
You crying as silently as you can, but as much as you can.
Then you crawl into bed to try to rest... or
Then you wash your face and put on a brave front to face the world.

But I can somewhat understand.
Though I cannot grasp the greatness of your pain, I have a hint,
For I, too, have lost a love one before,
But it cannot be compared.
Each heart knows only its own joy and pain.
The rest of us,
We can only imagine.


Here's remembering you and your family:
(Photo extracted from your blog)

The Lariche family at home on Christmas morning last year (2007),
Jien's second and last Christmas with us

Everyone's So Jealous

This is really a post of appreciation, though it'll make many eyes green with envy.

My sister has been declared the wonderful sister and the wonderful aunt by the many moms in the playgroup.

She helps bake cakes and cookies and make pasta for me and my boys.
She did this for the playgroup too when it was actually my turn to bring the snack - made my boys' favourite pasta so that they would eat well.
At one point when the boys were into soups, she would make all kinds of yummy soup for them, especially the butternut pumpkin soup.
She generously buys gifts for the boys, especially books on cars and trains and trucks.
She thinks of them constantly, and there are just all kinds of goodies that she will get for them, if she thinks it'll not indulge them too much, but she does indulge them - just not too much (by her standard).

Because she works near the boys' school, she accompanies me send and pick the boys up :
4 hands are better than 2 when you have to take 2 boys - make sure they have their shoes on - and their bags out of the car, occasionally to have to cross the street, and up the stairs.
On mornings we do not detour to pick her up on the way to school, either on of the boys will ask, "Mum, aren't we picking up Ee-ee*?"

Once, while I was having my confinement, Gadget-daddy was tied up in a meeting, so Ee-ee was called to help out at the emergency: She had to pick the boys up after school and keep them safe and entertained for about 30 minutes before their father could get to them. She took them to a classy cafe for pasta and cake! Our protest is that we could not keep up with her treats should the boys ask for it and think it's a regular affair. *gasp*

Then last night, Gadget-daddy and I went for a friend's engagement party. To find some relief for mil, who would have to handle the baby, we got Ee-ee to come in to play with the boys. She took them to the park, got them showered after that, made sure they took their dinner, gave them a treat and got them to sleep by the time we got back about 10.30pm.

The boys love to sit with Ee-ee during meal times.
You get fed and entertained with a story too.

More recent:
Before Myron was born, she had already bought him 4 sets of clothes.
She also bought me 2 preggy blouses then.
A few days ago she bought me another 2. She knows it's hard to go shopping with my tag-a-long's.

Thank you, Ee-ee for loving us so much and making the world a better place.
You are indeed wonderful to us.
Everyone's so jealous. *wink*

P.S -Thanks too for the conversations we have every morning while the boys are at school: The gossips, the news, the "intellectual discourse" and psychoanalysis of the people around us. It's so good to talk to another adult. Keeps me sane. ;)



* In the Chinese language, in all the different dialects spoken, very specific titles are given to relatives, which will indicate if you are a male/female, from mum's /dad's side, and if you are older/ younger to the parent, sometimes indicating your position in the number of siblings. It also indicates which generation you belong to.
Ee-ee is your aunt on your mother's side, and usually is younger to your mum. If there are a few aunts, they will be indicated by number. Cousins to your parents are address by their name tied to their title.