Pretense Pandemonium

Micah is very imaginative and has an immeasurable passion for trains. Put them both together on any given day and it could be delightful or disastrous.

Of late he has been obsessed with our local train, the KTM (Keretapi Tanah Melayu). This started when we once saw a night train pass through the station while waiting to pick Daddy up. The train gave a long and loud toot on its horn and Micah saw how long that train was. I then told him that it was night train, a long night journey to Singapore.

Now he has an imaginary train set: The KTM, complete with rails and signals and track switches and a station. Of course the long train comes with 10 coaches.

The problem is that in his pretend play, everything is so REAL. A few times he had screamed and gone into a tantrum because Max accidentally "crushed the tracks" or " derailed the train" or "knocked over the engine". There is just no way trying to make sense to him in those moments.

So what is Mommy to do?

Mommy: OK, Micah. We will have to move your train set to Mah-mah's room. Go on. Go play on your own.
Micah: But I can't move it by myself!
Mommy: Come on, I'll help you.
Micah: No, you take everything.
Mommy: I can't take everything. You take the train. I'll take the tracks.
Micah: I can't... There are too many coaches.
Mommy: Here, put them in the box. Now carry them into grandma's room.
Micah: Okaay...

So Mommy and Micah trots into grandma's room: Micah holding an empty shoe box and mommy holding air in both her outstretched arms.

Mommy: Ok, you set them up. I gotta go take care of Max.
Micah: Nooo! I can't do it. It's too tough.
Mommy: Micah, come on. You can do it.
Micah: No, no. I can't do it. It's too tough.
Mommy: Yes, you can. (Thinking to herself: Can't he just PRETEND he can do it?!!)
Micah: No, I can't.
Mommy: *sigh* Ok.. OK... I'll set the tracks up, you put the engine and the coaches on by yourself.
Micah: I can't. See? They always derail. Please do it, Mommy.
Mommy: Well, then I am the one playing with the train sand not you. You have to do it yourself.
Micah: You do it, Mommy. I'll switch it on.

Mommy has to go on all fours to set up the tracks, arrange the engine and count out the 10 coaches (of course you must know that I mean I am pretending to do so) !!

Mommy: Done. Now I gotta go take care of Max.
Micah: But I want you to play with me...
Mommy: I can't I gotta .... (Too late. Max walked into the room and onto the "trains" again!)
Micah: WAAaaaaaaH! Max! My train!!!
Mommy: It's ok. He didn't spoil anything.
Micah: No! No! He knocked the engine over!
Mommy: Ok, ok. I'll fix them back. (Pretends to set the train back on the track while trying to hold on to a squirming Max who wants to help Mommy!)
Micah: No!! It was just the engine. Not the coaches!! (More uncontrollable wails)
Mommy: Micah, You fix it yourself, ok? I'll take Max out.
Micah: No! No! You do it!! (Wails)
Mommy: Ok, There! Max and I are going out.

Mommy carries a bewildered Max out to read a book or something. We can hear Micah calming down. A minute later he comes up to Mommy, still a tear in his eyes.

Micah: I'm sorry, Mommy. I want you to play with me.
Mommy: You can't be like this Micah. It's ok if the train is derailed. It can be fixed, right? (Micah nods.) No need to yell and cry like that.
Micah: Okay... "No need to cry-maa. It can be fixed-maa" (quoting grandma). Come, Max. Come play with me. It's the KTM!!

It was a circus. An emotional circus.
I can't decide if it's worse to scream or to pull my hair out! I just take a few deep breathes.
We all went back to grandma's room and played with his imaginary train set... including Max who enjoys setting the coaches on the tracks.