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"You smacked me on the head!" Micah cried.
"What?" I didn't do that!" replied a shocked grandpa.
"No, no. I thought you smacked me on the head. I made a mistake," giggled a cheeky Micah.
For the first couple of times Micah said that I was wondering where that came from. Then I realised that he must have picked it up from our conversation. It was like this:
The day Mike was coming back from Singapore was also the day my brother would be at my mom's for the evening. We had hoped to meet for dinner, but he and his wife had other plans. So it ended up the boys and I had dinner at my mom's and then we went to Parkson together with my other bro for ice-cream at McD's. After a happy dessert, we walked about and just as we were leaving, I caught sight of a father hitting his son (about 7 or 8), slapping him on the head across the face. He did it twice in succession. Later as we were going up the escalator towards the car park, we heard some wailings on another floor. We got distracted at the toys section and by the time we got to the car, I saw that That family had parked their car a couple of lots from our car but the carpark was almost empty, so they looked like they parked next to us. The child was standing by the car, sobbing uncontrollably, traumatised for sure. The father stood a little distance away from the car smoking a cigarette.
I was very disturbed by the whole incident. While we drove out of the car park, I spoke to my mum in Hokkien about what I had seen. She also mentioned her disapproval. Still, it did not release my distress. An hour later, I picked Mike up at the train station and that was when I related the whole "Smack on the head" incident to him. Until now I feel a great unrest, still able to see the poor child looking too traumatised to get into his car.
So now I have to look Micah in the eye every time he said "Smack(ed) me on the head" and tell him that that is not a good thing to do and to never do that. It may sound funny when he says it cheekily, or should teenagers sarcastically say it to tease each other out of jest, but after a witness of that kind of child abuse, it is no where near a laughing matter.
I still feel awful now, that was a 3-days-ago incident.
5 comments:
It's quite difficult to shield our kids from the negatives of the world- I agree.
After work everyday I'd be heading back to my inlaws who are looking after Caitlin. They'd be watching the HK soapies at that time of day; at which I have seen scenes of a man slapping a woman, woman falls to the ground. If I am there, I try to distract Caitlin with something- anything. However I do know that she's already been exposed to such things, & so far hasn't asked me anything about it / keeping it to herself.
Many times I try & grill it into her that it's not real, it's only a tv show.
But while she is not in my care & when her Grannee takes her out shopping during working hours, I don't know what (else) she is exposed to.
Even small things like when families with toddlers share the lift in my building. They'd come in, Caitlin would say "Hi!" & they'd be, like, didn't hear it, & I am not talking about just their kids! Caitlin would be somewhat dissapointed & ask why they ignored her. I try & make up stories, but of late I'd just resigned to saying "Yah, so rude- don't be like them..."
These are the beginings of our environment shaping our kids...
Yeah, I know we can't protect our kids all the time. that would not be real anyway, and won't help them to function in our world which is not a bed of roses.
TV is both a blessing and a curse. Before we subscribed to the kids channel, Micah too would watch all the WLT shows with grandma and he was into kung-fu for a while. These days he watches more PHDC which is good for developing some skills and values,but I don't like him sitting in front of the TV too much anyway.
p/s- He learnt his numbers quickly, Thanks to Thomas and Friends. He remembered which engine was which number and what colour.
Dear me....that was indeed a scary situation. And for Micah to have picked it up too, even scarier!!!
But his reaction to the situation does show ONE thing. That is he knows only LOVE and KINDNESS in his life. For that, you can be proud that you are doing a good job so far!
Educate on, Kin....educate on!
Thought I'd share this link, to a(nother) father-blog.
The post is titled "Studies lay out violent TV’s risk to tots"
http://www.insidefatherhood.com/studies-lay-out-violent-tvs-risk-to-tots/
Thanks, you guys, for the support and help. Appreciate that.
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