Mommy's Midnight Ramblings

So the guys are asleep and I can't sleep...
...due to a late afternoon nap. I was tired after an afternoon out with my mom, but when I got back, Max had just woken from his nap and both boys wanted time with Mommy.

Micah was talking in his sleep...
... I have the thermometer...
... Look what I discovered...

This pregnancy so far, compared to the last two...
... has given me more back ache - I know... it's age!!
... but my sense of smell not too badly heightened. Can still managed washing my boys after they poo and can handle Gadget-daddy's sweaty laundry after his badminton games.
... the occasional heart burn and cramps is still happening.
... now I want more meat, but still need my dose of sweets each day.
... sometimes I feel bored but can't decide what I want to do.

Gadget-daddy's snoring...
... think I shall sneak into bed now... with the iPod.
:D

Good nite.

"Complete the Sentence" Tag

Thank you, Little Prince's Mummy, for this tag :

1. Life is full of ups and downs.

2. I smile when I think of something happy, even when I'm by myself.

3. I can't sleep when I started night feeds 4.5 years ago and my bio-clock is still cranky till today.

4. I love the smell of 1. bread baking in the oven; 2. freshly brewed coffee.

5. When I can't sleep, 1. play games on the iPod; 2. Read; 3. do the laundry.

6. I often dream about something strange that has all sorts of mismatched adventures strung together.

7. I get irritated 1. by mosquitoes and flies; 2. When I have to repeat myself umpteen times.

8. I like the sound of 1. my boys laughing together; 2. the crashing waves of the sea.

9. People often call me 1. Kin; 2. Mummy.

10. I wish I could have the same kind of energy I had when I was 18!!

11. The best creation in the world is er... all of Nature is beautiful... Can't decide which one's best.

12. 1st 3 words that comes to my mind: Boys, boys, boys.

13. I've discovered that nothing replaces the love of a parent, mum and dad alike.

14. When I'm in love, I'm totally lost in love.

15. A baby is born with the power to change the world, beginning with the parents: they change your night to day and day to night...

16. Before I met my husband, I could never have imagined what being in love was like.

17. A good marriage requires love, communication and change/sacrifices.

18. I dislike 1. cigarette smoke; 2. loud noises; 3. flashes of badly coordinated coloured-light. (hence you'll never find me in a disco.)

19. I say 'I Love You' every day to the 3Ms in my life.

20. My favourite subject in school was Biology.

I'll pass on this tag to:

Ann
Fern
Ling
Mott
Mummy-yeoh

Adventures With Daddy- Part 2.

It was a rainy evening.

Gadget-daddy still felt like it was good to take his son out.
So we got out the umbrellas, and Gadget-daddy got his poncho on.

The we decided to get Micah a make-shift raincoat - by using a garbage bag.

Just as they were getting ready to go out, Max woke up from his nap. Mommy figured he was not warmed-up yet to be taking a walk in the rain, so off went Daddy and Micah.

Just one minute after they had set off, Max started crying wanting Daddy and koh-koh. When he found out that they had "gone out for a little while", he insisted he wanted to go with them.

So a phone call and another plastic bag and a smaller umbrella got him set for an adventure too.

The three guys went off walking in the rain with an umbrella each.
(Of course grandma was not at all pleased with our idea of fun, fearing they might catch a cold.)


Mommy went to pick them up mid way from the usual pick-up spot with a tumbler of hot milo.

Gadget-daddy drove slowly all the way back while the boys enjoyed their hot drinks in the car.

Quite a fun rainy afternoon for all.

All set for a walk in the rain.

Adventures With Daddy- Part 1.

A few nights a go, Gadget-daddy took the boys out on a night walk. Each one armed with a torch light and with long pants on, in case of pesky mozzies, they took a walk to the playground.



It is the familiar path they usually take in the evening, about 1.7km* from the house to where I usually pick them up.

So when I picked them up at the same spot, they were delighted and had loads to tell me.

"Mom, we heard the crickets, you know, but we could not see where they were hiding."

"Mom, we saw our old frogs**. They have grown and they giggled when we shined our torch lights on them. There were two of them."

"My pants are a little bit wet. I splashed into a puddle."

"My pants are a little bit wet. I sat on a wet spot."

I'm sure the experience of walking though a park in the night was really enthralling for the boys. Well, these are the things that I am glad Gadget-daddy was around to do with the boys.

Just waiting till they are old enough to go camping out in the open in a tent. I'm sure that would be really fun too.



* 1.7km: This is an accurate measurement by Gadget-daddy's latest gadget, the iPhone, which has GPS and this thing that measures how far you've traveled and can also indicate your speed by foot, etc.


** The frogs: A couple of weeks before school ended I bought Micah's class a couple of froglets - those tadpoles almost a full-grown frogs with a bit of a tail left. At the end of the week we took them back and later in the evening we went to the park to let them go at a pond.
Unknown to the boys, but Grandma and I saw, one was very quickly snapped up by a crow, and another was dragged to the bottom of the pond by a fish. Sad endings which we saved the boys from.
We actually went and bought two more the following week but this time we let them out in our backyard. Soon after that we had to go out and we never saw them again. Hopefully this time they had a longer lifespan on their own. Who knows where these two are now.

Full Day's End: Me Talking, He Snoring

We've had a very full day today.

The last we did was to send my mom and sister back after their visit. My brother had to work today and he's the only one who drives in my mom's house now.

Both the boys fell asleep on the way home and so Gadget-daddy and I managed a little cuddle and chat time on the bed (on the floor).

We talked about the party we went to today and how the boys were at the party - the funny things they did or said, some of the things that the boys did/said that impressed us, and exchanging news, piecing infos together, on what we had managed to discover about our friends we met today.

Happy Birthday, Caitlin!

We talked about his family and a little of mine.

We talked about a message he sent me while at his badminton game, of wanting to go back-packing in Europe, maybe in three years time, so that we can save enough. Me, not too keen on that, especially as we are talking about bringing the whole troop of three little monkeys with us.

So the next best thing is to stay with friends we have in Europe... Er, we have friends in UK, Germany and maybe Holland (they might not be there anymore in three years time). So I said, "Maybe renting a motor home might be better." In my mind I was already thinking of how much we could save on accommodation and have most of meals in simple cookouts ....
But before I could go any further in expressing my idea...

Snores.

All I hear is snoring in the room... from my three wonderful guys - all exhausted.

Hmmm... now I shall go play my game on the iPod till my eyes can't stay peeled.

Good night and have a good week ahead.

Three Boys and Cars

Nope, not Gadget-daddy and the two boys, but rather, both the boys and their baby brother.

Yesterday night, Max and Micah had decided it was time to get their baby brother, though still in Mommy's womb, to play cars together.

Max: Here, Baby. This car is for you.
(places a car on top of Mommy's belly.

Micah joined in: Here's another one for you , Baby.
(Starts rolling a toy car over the belly and both giggled.)

Then they took turns blowing raspberries on Mommy's belly to tickle their brother.



Looks like they can't wait for another one to play with and do car races with.

Does everything took too "set"?

Every Man Has His Vice

Every man has his vice....

And Gadget-daddy's is...

Gadgets.

Obvious, right?

He drools over those electronic toys, compares different gadgets and their applications and tell me how impressed he is about a certain item...

Actually this has been a long time passion, since the time he got into computer studies, he'd tell me all kinds of stuff, some quite impressive, but I am actually a skeptic when it comes to computers and what we think we can make it do for us.

Anyway, his latest indulgence has been infecting the whole clan:

The iPod Touch and his iPhone.

Well, not like we touch much of his phone, but the boys and Mommy have been fighting over the iPod touch to either play games (Mommy on Bejewelled and the boys on Eat, Bunny, Eat) or watch a movie... So there, we are infected.


Well, some things of the future is here for us now, I guess.

The Holiday - So Far

This week we have kept ourselves well entertained.

On Monday we stayed home. Later in the afternoon, Gadget-daddy and Mommy went out to run an errand. After the errand, we went to catch a movie: 007, Quantum of Solace. So it was our holiday. :)

On Tuesday Gadget-daddy went to the office so the boys and Mommy and grandma went to the market down in town for noodles. It was an outing Micah had missed since he started school. We used to go there once a week and visit this place with an old fire engine on display, but they have recently removed it. There was also a shop selling lamp shades which has an attraction for the boys: They have their pet turtles and terrapins in some of their ceramic pots. So it was again a rekindling of friendship for Micah and the reptiles, as well as the shop owners.

On Wednesday we went to the Science Center, mainly because our books were due and we went to pick up some new books. The boys have so far enjoyed three of the nine book: One on Trains, one a picture book on the alphabet and one on cars.

Tomorrow we are going swimming with a friend and kids at her condo. She's getting noodles for lunch, much to my boys' delight. I have promised to being some chicken nuggets. I think this is more for Mommy to meet and old schoolmate as well.

Friday, open for the moment. Might head to a shopping mall to pick out a specific Christmas card.

Saturday, we have a movie date with a few friends. We are going to "move it, move it" for the Madagascar 2!! Oh! Can't wait for it. We all love those crazy animals.

Sunday, we have a birthday party!!

That's what we've been up to, and our line up for the rest of week.

Yummy Max

Max will be three soon,
a few days after Christmas,
but he is still such a "baby" in many ways.
When we are all fuzzy and want to tease Max, usually when we are snuggling in bed or when we are carrying him, we always make a dish out of him.

There are the parts of him we like to sink our teeth into*.


Menu:

Spare Ribs - his ribs

Tomatoes - toes on one of the feet

Potatoes - toes on the other foot

Fish Fingers - fingers, obviously

French fries - fingers on the other hand

Chicken Drumsticks - his calves

Chicken Wings - his arms

Chicky Bao (steam buns) - cheeks

And with all the attempts and tickles he'd often declare:

"I'm not Food... "

And he says this in the cutest voice that really makes us want to bite him!!

Sometimes Mommy will just say blatantly,
"May I chew on your elbows/ knees?"
And get a load of squeals from him.

Yes, we are bias...
We think our kids are the cutest.
Hehehe....


* Disclaimer:
We are not cannibals.
We use only light pressure between the teeth and a little slobber to produce lots of tickles, giggles and wiggles.

Morning Warmies

Gadget-daddy has a morning thing with the boys. He calls it the H2K.

Every morning he would say to each of the boys... Where is my H2K?
Hug + 2Kkisses.

The boys would each climb on his chest (he 's usually still in bed himself while the boys are already up and about) and they would give him a peck on each cheek. Then it's his turn to return them.

This morning Micah woke up first.
The first thing he asked me what did I dream about.
I told him it was about our family including my mom, both my sisters and nephew and niece on a tour bus going around Penang!
Later I recalled the dream a little better and told Gadget-daddy that it included his friend on our family holiday.
Haha. How about that for a family holiday trip?
Maybe Mommy's brain is working overtime about what to do for this holiday.

Micah said he dream of school and playing a fun game with his friends.
Asked him, " so you miss school already?"
He said, "Yeah. I have fun in school..."

Funny, eh? All the time not wanting to go to school, and now missing it. :)

Well, gotta get ready to go swimming now.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Christmas Comes Early

Today was the last day of school for Micah.

It's also the last day for the playgroup and we had a Christmas party in advance as a closing for the year.

There was singing, a performance by Micah and his classmates (sorry, Gadget-daddy still working on the video and will post that up soon), games and presents for everyone.

Time sure flies.
It did not seem so long ago that we were coaxing and pacifying Micah every morning on the way to school. And the best part was when we pick him up after school, he'd be so happy and say,
"I had a great time, mom!"
Of course now that it's the holidays, he's looking forward to going to the Science Center and to Ah-MA's house instead of school.

Now it's the holidays. All our weekends look busy, but I will have to figure out how to fill the rest of days in the week.

Think it's time I need to go back to the stationery shop and get some fresh supply of paints and drawing blocks.

Maybe we should, I mean, I should consider baking cookies with them.
Hmmm... sure will get some noise from Grandma for making her kitchen a mess....
Ah, maybe try baking at Ah-Ma's house. She's got a bigger oven and Ee-Ee's baking utensils are all there. Hmmm...

It would be nice if some of us could get a day out with our kids and maybe go to the butterfly farm, or bird park, or a swimming-picnic by the pool...

Any one want to have a play-date with us?

BURA Carnival

Last weekend we drop by the Bandar Utama Residence Association's carnival.

We got there a little late, and it was just about to rain when we got there, so made a quick dash for the hall.

We managed to meet the Cuddly Family for a short moment before Max fell asleep in Gadget-daddy's arm. Micah and I found a cool exhibition of reptiles.

Actually, that was all we got to do, due to the rain and a sleeping boy.
So we left a little after that.

Here are some cool pix we got from the exhibition:

Australian bearded dragon.

Black and white tegu.

A close encounter with a phyton.
Micah enjoyed touching a few snakes.

Award: The Power Blog

Got this from Little Prince's Mummy.



Thanks.

Looking at this deeper, I mean the award, does it mean my blog is powerful enough to make a change for other who read it? ... despite the fact that it's really all my personal stuff...
Hmmm...

Anyway, here's to some whose blogs have brought me laughter, wonder, warm fuzzy feelings and some good sharing of experience and ideas.

Here's to:

Ann
Elpida
Florence
Hissychick
Jlow
Mummy-yeoh
Mommycat
Mumsgather
Mott
U.Lee

Have a good week.

Boys Will Be Boys

So if you were to ask,
When is the littlest one inside mommy most excited?

Answer: When Mommy's watching Speed Racer with his brothers!

Every time I sit and watch Speed Racer* with one or both of the boys , I get a load of bumps inside me.

Boys and cars...

* It's been a week now since we bought 2 new shows for the boys:
Speed Racer and Madagascar (to prep them for Madagascar 2!!)
and they have been watching these two almost everyday. Mostly just demanding certain scenes that they find exciting or most funny.

They also repeat dialogues of parts of the show to everyone else who talks to them, regardless of whether they know what the boys are saying or not. Then they will burst into laughter and say, "So funny."

They sure know how to entertain themselves... and confuse others.

Delicous+ Nerve Wrecking Afternoon.

Oh, I can't take the boys to the mall anymore.
It's just too crazy for me to do it unless Gadget-daddy and another light-footed adult is with us.

After school we went to Midvalley for a bit.

We had a few things no the to-do list, but as we were heading to different shops for what we needed, the boys were running like mad all over the mall.

I was really at my nerve's end:
not being able to catch up with them (not exactly in a running condition) left me walking as fast as I could, breathing hard and my hands and feet started sweating - more out of fear and anxiety rather than the exercise.
I was telling myself: No more. No more going to the mall... Not on my own for sure.
I felt like a nervous wreck.

It was crowded (lunch hour) and the boys were zipping about between the crowd.
I can't stand it when I lose sight of them, and it aggravates me when they almost bump into the people towering over them.

(Micah, at almost 2, had this incident where he ran into a lady causing her to trip and all over him, almost completely on top of him and she ripped her skirt! What an incident!!)


Anyway, our errands:

1. We had to get Micah a certain shirt for his kindy concert - they are doing a song and dance for the year end Christmas party. Our first two choices did not have his size - one too big, and the other too small. So we settled for something of a third choice.

2. I had already mentioned wanting to try out the Paddington Pancake place the night before. So after we got the shirt, we headed there for lunch.


(There was a no.3 on the list but I forgot: was suppose to get some Christmas candy canes from Cold Storage... so we have to make another trip this weekend.)

Here was where we had two pleasant surprises.

First, when we got to the shop, while waiting to be seated, who turned up to greet us was none other than my sis. She was there for lunch with her boss and a mutual friend. The boys were sure excited.

Second, as we were half way through our lunch, who should walk in, but Mummy-yeoh, with her little girl, and her sister and her little boy. They joined us at our table. That was good for us to do a bit of catching up.

After that we headed home. They boys fell aasleep in the car.

Pretty much a good Friday... except for the stress on my nerves.



p/s- Photos on the food coming up soon. :)

Pick Your Battles

Today I bumped into Matthew's mum at Micah's school.

I am glad we managed to have a few minutes of exchange, along with 2 other ladies. And this was what I learnt from her :
Pick Your Battles.

She mentioned speaking to this other lady about coping with Matthew's tantrums, etc. and this phrase came out - Pick Your Battles.

Wise words indeed. For we do not wish to be picking on our kids all the time and be an over-bearing mom. Of late, maybe because of my pregnancy, or maybe of other emotional turmoils, I have often had to check myself in my speech, and also in my tone and my volume.

Sometimes, I know, it is also the external factor of "other adults" that make me feel worked up.

Anyway...

My boys are finally asleep.

Tried getting them to bed at 9.30pm but they were just too excited, jumping on the bed and rolling all over the place.
I gave up calling --> coaxing -->scolding. So I decided not to pick this as a battle.

I went out of our room to do some laundry. They both ended up playing with their Lego blocks in the back room where I was folding the clothes. Good enough. At least they are not physically too active. Gadget-daddy was asleep by the time the boys and I came back in. Got them ready for bed.

Max was so tired he fell asleep without needing to nurse.
Micah chatted a little with me, requesting a snuggle and was soon in dreamland too.

So I finally managed to catch up with some of your blogs.

Now the little one in me is having a hic-up, so kicking me in a rhythmic pattern.
My back is also calling me to give it a break, so I too am heading off to dream land.

Good night.

Synchronized sleeping?

They are just perfect angels when sleeping.

What A Spot!

Just a few minutes ago I found myself in a very interesting spot.

Micah's diaper had leaked* and so after changing him, he wanted to snuggle with me as a quick wash left him a feeling little cold.

As we climbed into bed, Max was dreaming and crying for nan-nan, to nurse.

So I was nursing Max, and Micah came snuggling close, very close to the point he was making it feel like Max was nursing while on a car ride.
Then the littlest one inside me gave me a little kick, as if to say, "Hey, mom. I want some attention too."

So I was literally surrounded by my boys left, right and center!!

What a spot.
Funny, strange, but cozy.

Have a good day, everyone.


* This problem happens more with boys than girls. My sister said her daughter never gave her such problem a unless she had had a lot to drink. But the thing with the boys is that it's not that the diaper is full, in fact, most of the time it's only half full, and sometimes hardly filled.
It's simply physiological - because sometimes their urine shoot out sideways, leaking through the side folds.

A Time To Heal

Time heals all wounds.
It's just that some wounds take more time than others to heal.

Scars tell the tales of pain and loss.
Some scars will always stir in us a sadness in the heart.

Today, my friend messaged me to help her remember her child.
She will blog as a record for herself and her family.
I read her latest post on Matthew.
I am sure there will be more to come.
Two and a half years of all sorts of memories.
Every single day was precious.
Some, I am sure, that words would fail to capture because it can only be felt in the heart.
Some, words would fail to capture the magic and chemistry of a moment when some things clicked.

Another friend sent me this article and it talks about coping with loss. It was really helpful.

Remembering the ones we have lost helps the healing.
Crying helps the healing.
The need to grieve and then to walk on in our own journey on this earth helps to heal.

On a more personal note,
My father has passed away 7 years and there are moments I still miss him and shed a tear - especially when I think of the loss on the part of my boys never knowing such a wonderful man.

So time will heal... eventually.
Meanwhile, we desperately try to keep a record of the ones we love,
because time also makes us forget...
For better, for worse.




P/s - Sorry for not visiting your corners of the world.
Part of my coping mechanism is to spend more time with my boys and less on the computer.
If we are on the computer, I am with the boys looking at what they like and being with them.
Nevertheless,
Have a good week.

Coming Out Of My Grief

Loss of A Child

When you lose a child,
You lose a limb;
You lose a chunk of your heart-
You lose control of your whole being
and feel like you're going insane-
Because of the loss of a child.

Like a jig-saw puzzle with missing pieces,
The picture can never be completed;
Like a shattered mirror
That cannot be glued back together,
Like a compass
That has lost its needle,
There is just no replacement
For such a loss
As a loss of a child.

What would ice-cream be like
If there were no taste-buds on the tongue?
What would velvet be like
If all our sensory nerves were numb?
What would a rainbow be
If one cannot see light?
Some things just cannot be described -
Like the loss of a child.

Yet you need to function still,
With such pain,
For there are still others
Whose life revolve around you -
And you need to still
Hold it together.
Yes, Brain, hold it together,
Be careful, Heart, not to build walls of fear.

Time and seasons still moves on:
There will be beautiful days,
There will be gloomy days,
There will be days of hope
And days of anguish.
We carry on,
We carry on,
As we carry in our heart
The loss of a child.

Death of A Child

Today I wept many times.

When I first saw the article in the newspaper this morning, my heart raced.


A quick call to our playgroup coordinator confirmed my greatest fears.
It was one of our children, and one of the mum's whom I have got to know quite well.

She and I had many things in common:
She's from Taiping, the same hometown as my parents, and so we speak the same kind of northern Hokkien;
Her husband and her name both start with 'M' and so her son also carry the letter 'M' for his first names - and she was trying to help me think of one for my next boy;
She recently began to be interested in blogging and we share the same "not so high tech" status.
She was always very approachable and she would talk to all the mums;
She was assigned the duty to hand out our name tags (I did this last year) and so she learnt everyone's name in no time.

I wept when the coordinator told me what the mum had said about the accident.

I waited for more news as to when they would have the funeral and cremation.

While waiting we took the boys out to visit a another friend.

By the time we got home (no calls in between) it was 5pm.
I called the coordinator again and she gave me the mum's contact number.


We talked.

"I'm sorry to hear about Matthew.." was all I managed to start with.

She had been hysterical at the time of the accident and cried so much, she said, that she just kept herself focused on the procedures of the necessary.

While she talked, relating the incident to me, I wept.

"Please call me anytime you need anything. Just to talk, or if anything I could do to help..."
was how I managed to end with.
After the phone call, I went to put up the laundry and wept some more.

I have to admit it's not that I was very attached to the child, but because I was close to the mum, I just felt the pain and the loss. Only another parent can imagine how awful it would be.


I don't know what to say.
When words fails us, only tears would be meaningful enough.

:..(