Saturday, 1 November 2008

Death of A Child

Today I wept many times.

When I first saw the article in the newspaper this morning, my heart raced.

A quick call to our playgroup coordinator confirmed my greatest fears.
It was one of our children, and one of the mum's whom I have got to know quite well.

She and I had many things in common:
She's from Taiping, the same hometown as my parents, and so we speak the same kind of northern Hokkien;
Her husband and her name both start with 'M' and so her son also carry the letter 'M' for his first names - and she was trying to help me think of one for my next boy;
She recently began to be interested in blogging and we share the same "not so high tech" status.
She was always very approachable and she would talk to all the mums;
She was assigned the duty to hand out our name tags (I did this last year) and so she learnt everyone's name in no time.

I wept when the coordinator told me what the mum had said about the accident.

I waited for more news as to when they would have the funeral and cremation.

While waiting we took the boys out to visit a another friend.

By the time we got home (no calls in between) it was 5pm.
I called the coordinator again and she gave me the mum's contact number.

We talked.

"I'm sorry to hear about Matthew.." was all I managed to start with.

She had been hysterical at the time of the accident and cried so much, she said, that she just kept herself focused on the procedures of the necessary.

While she talked, relating the incident to me, I wept.

"Please call me anytime you need anything. Just to talk, or if anything I could do to help..."
was how I managed to end with.
After the phone call, I went to put up the laundry and wept some more.

I have to admit it's not that I was very attached to the child, but because I was close to the mum, I just felt the pain and the loss. Only another parent can imagine how awful it would be.

I don't know what to say.
When words fails us, only tears would be meaningful enough.



Ling That's Me said...

oh condolences to your friend. I am so sorry to read about this...

How did it happen?

I pray that the family will be strong and move on ...

Wonderful Life said...

My heart sank when I read about it. It's heart wrenching when a mother lose her child. I truly understand how it feels. :(

So sorry to hear this happened. My condolences to your friend.

hissychick said...

Life is so unspeakably cruel at times.

Your friend is in my thoughts. No mother should ever have to go through what she is going through right now.

U.Lee said...

Hi Mommy, gosh! I can feel the pain and sorrow of a mother losing a child.
Really sorry about your friend. My deepest sympathies to her and family. Lee.

Bethany said...

I was unable to sleep all last night just thinking about the family... this is such an unimaginable thing to happen...

Moomykin said...

Thank you, my blog buddies, for all your thoughts and condolences.

I have yet to see my friend, hoping to meet up with her soon.

Life is so precious and so fragile.

JLow said...

Only imagining what it must have been like, already made me teary eyed. So sorry to hear about this about your friend....

Ann said...


so hard
no words
just tears
and fear
and just pray
and pray yet again.

little prince's mummy said...

So sad........

Moomykin said...

little prince's mummy,

Thank you walking through some painful patches with me.

Honestly, I think if I'm that mommy who has lost a child, I would be totally paralyzed - just want to lie in bed and not want to see the rest of the world...

But life goes on, and there are still others who need our care and attention.

A gift from God said...

So sorry.... my condolences to your friend. I wouldn't want to live if it happens to my boy.... life is so precious....

Mummy-yeoh said...

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I read your blog earlier but I just don't know what to say. I cannot imagine how life would be losing a precious gift. This have been in mind for days now...

Moomykin said...

a gift from god,

I know what you mean.
"Awful" cannot even begin to give a hint of the tragedy...



It is heard to be with one who is suffering from such a loss.
many times we don't know what to do or say.
Tears , hugs and holding the hand are the best languages in such times.

mumsgather said...

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. At a time like this, words fail us but we all feel for her.

Moomykin said...


Thank you.

Only a parent can fully understand another's loss.

Moomykin said...


Thank you.

Only a parent can fully understand another's loss.

Shannon said...

like u said, it's not the attachment, but the pain and hurt we can imagine as a mother...
I shed tears reading it all... :'(

Moomykin said...


Thank you for your condolenece.
Thank you for dropping by.