Going to school is a major adjustment for him.
He has never been away from Mommy.
The times Mommy was not with him, he was at least at home and with his family and all his toys and things he is familiar with.
Yesterday I asked him in a quiet conversation about his friends in school.
He declared that the only friend he has is his brother.
Today, at the door of his class, he clung on to my shirt crying in the most agonizing way,
"I want to go with you... I want to go with you..."
While his teacher pulled him away, prying his little hands of my shirt.
Last night he held me tight as he was falling asleep and just kept calling "Mommy... Mommy..." until he was finally asleep.
He didn't want any song sung to him.
Then in the early morning he cried in his sleep a lot.
Throughout today he kept me within sight.
If not engaging me in an activity or conversation, I had to be in the same room at least, even if I was doing something else and he was playing by himself.
The moment I disappear, he will cry and yell for me, not wanting me to go away.
Just now, during dinner we talked about what to do after dinner.
He asked if we were going to school.
I said, "No, not now. School is tomorrow, when we wake up from our sleep."
After that he kept saying to me over and over,
"After we sleep and wake up, it's not tomorrow, ok?"
This is so painful to deal with.
Did I make a mistake in signing him up for school at 3*?
He is still so much a baby in some ways, although we have been preparing him for the arrival of the baby brother in March.
I was already contemplating pulling him out if he does not adjust well to being away from Mommy.
I was planning to see how he is by the end of the week.
I don't know how much "trauma" he can handle.
At least today he didn't cry when I came to pick him up from school.
In fact, he quite happily showed me what he was doing and what he did in class: some colouring and some pasting.
Just as I was leaving the school grounds, I mentioned my intention to the teacher.
The teacher says hang in there. He is getting better.
He actually talked to the teachers today when he was not crying.
So all will have to bear this pain and burden together:
Max, his parents, his grandparents and his ever-doting Ee-ee.
* I also tried this with Micah when he was 3 and he had really bad nightmares.
He would wake up middle of the night and tell me he does not want to go to school and that he does not want to go anywhere. He only wants to stay at home. He would even hesitate going to my mom's and refused to go for playgroup with anyone else but me.
At the end, I pulled him out and we started again last June when he turned 4. He cried for a few days, but we were able to talk about it without him crying. Also, no nightmares this time.
Now he has forgotten his crying days and kept telling his brother he MUST go to school which really upsets him to tears.