My Mom's And Dad's Version of B&B

My mom is very traditional and conservative.
Anything to do with sex is taboo.

Mom never knew how to explain anything regarding gender development, even when we, her daughters, reached puberty. She just supplied us with sanitary napkins, made us wash our own undies from age 12, and scolded us whenever we stained the bed sheets.

When I was about three I asked her where I came from. I asked a few times and her answers were always different and unconvincing:

Someone left you at out doorstep.
We picked you up from the rubbish bin.
Picked you up from the toilet bowl.

It all did not make sense to me, although at that time I did not know how to express my disbelief at her answers. Definitely nothing to build up a child's self-confidence. Good thing I did not believe her, or I would have really felt like a reject, or thought myself adopted. Hahaha...

When she showered us, she'll ask us to squat down and wash our "little chick".

The only two things she did positively for us was that she was never shy to change in front of us, and, if so happen that we needed something while she was in the shower, she would still talk to us from her bathroom (attached to her bedroom). The other was I recalled watching her breastfeed my younger siblings.

So my sisters (not sure about my brothers. oops!) and I learnt about the birds and bees from our friends, science class, each other and nurses* who came to do talks about the development of the female body.



My father said a few things to me that were actually pretty helpful.

1. I was about 8 then, maybe. I can't remember how this came about, and what was said prior to this, but he told me that no one should simply touch my private parts. Not even those relatives we see often, and definitely none of his friends nor strangers.

2. I was about 19 and was working with him as a massage therapist before furthering my studies. Somewhere in that 1.5 years, he revealed this: At the end of intercourse is a kind of peace, a calm. Again, I can't recall how we got to this topic, but he sure baffled and surprise me. Unexpected, but appreciated the info and enlightenment.

3. I was about 27 and we were driving in the heart of the city past midnight, out on one of his midnight cravings for Singapore prawn noodle. We were talking about life, and at that time I just need to ask him this: Did they ever thought of abortion** while my mom was carrying me? He said, "No. We had always had good sex and every baby was wanted." There was a lump in my throat and I jumped a little in my skin, but managed to carry on the conversation and drive without hitting the curb.


I can't imagine how my mom would respond if Micah is to spring any booby trap on her, on her taboo topic.
Actually, I think I can...

She'll just laugh, call him clever, and ask him to ask his Mommy.


My kids sure are having better info on the birds and bees.



* The nurses were actually employed by certain companies and they gave out sample products at the end of the talks. Pretty fun for us girls.
** They say if you have considered abortion, your fetus would know and have some kind of imprint on its memory and carry a kind of burden in it's soul/spirit. At that time I was going through a dark spell, often feeling depressed and wished for death, though not actually suicidal.