Wednesday, 5 March 2008

Control vs Independence

Max is coming to the stage where he is starting to do a lot of things for himself. He actually is more independent by nature, wants to do everything for himself*, while Micah has always been more "manja" and wants help with everything, or have things done for him all the time if possible.

I remember when Micah turned two and I saw him open the room's door by himself the first time, exclaimed it to Daddy. Daddy said that he was the one who taught him how to do that. The first thing that came to mind was, "That's it. Now there are no more boundaries." At present, he can open the door with a key, but has not quite mastered the pad-lock and key.

Max is now at the height where he can just reach the doorknob, but has not quite got the turning it round properly. BUT the other day Micah showed him how to lock it by pressing on the lock button on the knob. Now I feel like there's going to be an episode of him locking himself in the room and screaming, just waiting to happen...

So, I am sure all mom's** wrestle with this, to still have control over the kids' movements and activities or to let them do it and blow it occasionally...which means more mess to clear...

* At one and a half, Max could feed himself quite well with a fork or a spoon. These days he wants to hold the shower spray and wash himself, under Mommy's watchful eyes of course, or he'd be spraying the whole place drenched. He occasionally attempts to put on his own clothes, but not successful so far. He can now open the fridge to get a chilled box drink for himself and Micah, as well as carry a stool to the side of the counter and get himself a cup of water from the dispenser.

**I say mom's because most dad's I know will want the kids to be completely independent if they could. But that's probably because the mom's are the ones cleaning up the mess all the time.


chel said...

hahahha oh no... they're gonna be a whole lot harder to control... and yes i do agree with the last part...~~ hahaha

Kathie "Moomykin" Yeoh said...

Max just walked through the door. Looks like he can open the door on his own now.

Ann said...

I guess they will have to do it themselves sometime. And better they master it now well....especially if you have one more on the way....

JLow said...

When Caitlin was 2+ she too had discovered the door-knob lock.

She has only once looked herself in my bedroom, but quite quickly unlocked it at my threatening request!

Lately I think she has stopped playing that game. Mainly cos, by example, I have made it a point to her that I too don't lock the door.

But that just only means more embarrassing moments with Daddee in the bathroom!

Kathie "Moomykin" Yeoh said...


I know... it's really important to teach them safety along with independence. It's just that I think my boys think danger is thrilling. Eeps!



We usually don't lock the bathroom door either, which we are Ok with.

Occasionally if Mike's working from home, then he'll lock the room's door. Otherwise don't use the lock much either.

A gift from God said... 1.5 and he can use a spoon to feed himself? gosh... Reese can hardly feed himself with his fingers... I guess it's also partly my fault.. cannot tahan the mess...haha...

Kathie "Moomykin" Yeoh said...

a gift from god,

Max just amazed us. We didn't actually try very hard, but let him do it because he wanted to.

Micah... if you don't feed him, he won't get any food into his tummy and will just ask for milk and more milk later on. Once in a blue moon, since beginning this year, Micah fed himself like 4 times.

So Micah is still being spoon-fed!! While Max will want to "do self!"

Anyway, can let Reese try with not so messy food like biscuit, cube-cut apples and fishball.