Remembering My Father

A little bit more of my Dad.

This is a photo of Dad walking me down the aisle on my wedding day, 2 June 2001.



He was almost blind as he had retinal detachment, and he actually had a prosthetic leg. He had a below knee amputation (left) due to an infection on the foot that ate into his bones. He agreed to the amputation when the doctor suggested it because he knew it was either to lose a leg or to lose his life.

He was very brave about that losing his leg. In fact, when he came out of surgery, we were all anxious and asked how he felt. His response was, "OK. I'm ok. Now I can join the cacat (handicap) race." We burst out laughing. We were the only family members of a patient laughing at the waiting lounge.

He always carried a 2 litre dextrose solution in his abdomen as that is his dialysis treatment - peritoneal dialysis. The solution was to be changed 4 times a day in a sterile room and measured and recorded every time. He also had to take a certain jab 2 times a week to help build red blood cells. I, as the "nurse", handled the dialysis treatment and administered the jabs too. Our frequent visits to University Hospital made us a familiar face to many of the medical staff, security guards and canteen operators.

His constant worry was money, rather, the lack of it, as he could no longer work and he did not have an insurance policy that covered critical illnesses. On better days, when we would tease him, and tell him he could try sitting in the pasar malam (night market) without his prosthetic leg and play his guitar and we'll see how much he could collect. Of course it was all in jest and we'd all laugh.

Gadget-daddy and I talked a few times about what it would have been like if he's still around. He'd have been a really fun and funny grandpa.
He'd have played nursery rhymes on the guitar for the boys and even taught them some simple oldies.
He'd have made funny faces at the boys and taught them to roll their eyes.
He'd have teased them with his stump and let the boys play with his fake leg.
He'd have told them jokes and confused them, and we, the parents would have to undo some silliness.
He'd have given them rides on his lap while he's on the wheel chair when shopping at the mall.
He would definitely tickle them, blow raspberry on them, cuddle them and kiss them.
His early passing on is a great loss to my boys.

Dad died in his sleep in Novenber 2001. It was a Wednesday, pre-dawn. The phone rang at about 6.30am and I jumped out of bed. I already sensed it was bad news. It was a few months after my wedding, about one and a half month shy of his birthday. He would have been 56 that year.








Tea ceremony at home.
Mom sitting with Dad.