Sunday, 18 May 2008

Witty

Got this e-mail from a friend and had a delightful little tickle before bed, so I thought I'd share it here with you:


Subject: Back when insults had class!

When Insults had class!

These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.


1) The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, 'If you were my husband I'd give you poison,' and he said, 'If you were my wife, I'd drink it.'

2) A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.' 'That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, 'whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.'

3) 'He had delusions of adequacy.'
- Walter Kerr

4) 'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.'
- Winston Churchill

5) 'A modest little person, with much to be modest about.'
- Winston Churchill

6) 'I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.'
- Clarence Darrow

7) 'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.'
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

8) 'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?'
- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

9) 'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.'
- Moses Hadas

10) 'He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.'
- Abraham Lincoln

11) 'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.'
- Mark Twain

12) 'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.'
- Oscar Wilde

13) 'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;
bring a friend.... if you have one.'
- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

14) 'Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.'
- Winston Churchill, in response.

15) 'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.'
- Stephen Bishop

16) 'He is a self-made man and worships his creator.'
- John Bright

17) 'I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.'
- Irvin S. Cobb

18) 'He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.'
- Samuel Johnson

19) 'He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.'
- Paul Keating

20) 'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.'
- Jack E. Leonard

21) 'He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.'
- Robert Redford

22) 'They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.'
- Thomas Brackett Reed

23) 'In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.'
- Charles, Count Talleyrand

24) 'He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.'
- Forrest Tucker

25) 'Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?'
- Mark Twain

26) 'His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.'
- Mae West

27) 'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.'
- Oscar Wilde

28) 'He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for
support rather than illumination.'
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

29) 'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.'
- Billy Wilder

30) 'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.'
- Groucho Marx


Good night.

5 comments:

hissychick said...

I do love me a good comeback line. You have to in our household :)

U.Lee said...

Hi Mommy, love your this posting, and that beautiful wedding photograph.
Here's hoping you in the best of health, best regards, Lee.

Moomykin said...

hissychick,

Yes, yes. That can just make your day. :)

Keep on loving your mr. Hissychick the way you two do. ;)



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u.lee,

Hi! Thanks for dropping by. :)

Glad you enjoyed this little tickle of the wit. I believe this is what makes us humans above the other species. :)

Ann said...

I love this! particularly love the witty replies!

#10 I don't really get though....

Moomykin said...

ann,


Glad you enjoyed this. I was thinking of you when I posted it up, remembering you love for words too. :)


10 took me a while to get it too. :)
it's just basically empty talk.