Wednesday, 27 August 2008
I am walking through a very rough patch with a friend in her marriage.
Things have been tough from the time they got married but after all the changes she's made for him, she now suspects he is unfaithful.
She is afraid of what the future may hold, starting this weekend.
I am afraid for her.
A man thinks he can have his flings and affairs and when he has had enough, he can come back to his wife and kids and expects a warm welcome. She/they should be glad he chose to come back.
If she had been unfaithful, it's the end right away. She should be stripped of all rights and even have her children taken from her and there will no reservations spelling out her sins to her kids or to anyone else...
If a man is unfaithful, many wonders why his wife did not satisfy him or how she failed meet his expectations.
If a woman is unfaithful she is labeled a whore, b*tch, gatal, miang, etc...
A woman is expected to still keep her family intact despite the failure of the man of the house.
If a woman has failed to keep the household intact, the man has the right to demand another woman do it. Marry another woman, any woman, with no one questioning him doing so.
I think of some women I know, mostly my mom's generations, who would just run their home as smoothly despite their knowing their husbands' unfaithfulness. They think nothing of their rights, their needs. They only think of taking care of the children and to have a roof over their heads and food on the table. They keep themselves busy through the day, but I wonder how they handle the time alone before they sleep... if they can sleep.
As for our generation, I've already heard of a few of my former schoolmates divorced. Some with kids, some without. I don't know the whole story behind it, but if it involved an affair, I am sure no woman is going to stand for this today, whether your religion allows it or not.
So maybe some men, maybe quite a lot of men, are still stuck in the times of "Abraham and the forefathers" where you can have more than one wife for whatever reason...
So tonight, after talking and crying with my friend,
I kissed my darling boys and prayed
that they will be men who will be good and faithful husbands,
and they will have good and faithful wives.